But for some reason, in that moment, the only thing that was going to help me survive this night was being close enough that Icoulddo either one of those things.
My stomach was twisting as I approached Caleb’s door. Vanya was here. Or, at least according to Hugo, his car was here, which meant there was a good chance he was still hanging around.
I had no fucking clue when Vanya had become friends with my brother, but I’d stopped questioning those things about him. The guy became best friends with the fucking fishmonger at the market down the street from his house.
I ran into them one night after a game at the arena, talking about the best beer to go with perch.
A Hefeweizen, apparently, and I was annoyed that I knew that.
Taking a breath, I felt along the side of the door until I reached the bell, and then I pushed it twice and waited.
“I know it’s you, Micah. Fuck off,” Caleb said through the doorbell speaker. He sounded almost more irritated than I was.
I ignored him and tried the knob, and it turned and opened. I didn’t worry about walking in on anything anymore. Caleb and his ex had officially broken up for good. I was pretty sure the stress from my dad had a lot to do with it, but I felt bad becausethey’d been off and on for so many years, everyone had assumed they’d make their way back to each other.
But three months after she walked out, she hard launched her engagement on Instagram to the guy who sold smoothies at her gym. Ford insisted he was hot, which made me feel even worse for Caleb, but he wasn’t interested in our sympathy.
Apparently, he was only interested in picking fights, which I was starting to think was some sort of recessive gene we all carried.
Making my way through his living room, I stepped around the dining room table and out the sliding glass door that was sitting open. I followed the smell of hot metal across his yard, then came to a stop when my cane hit the low metal fence that separated the grass from the rocky ground where he had his smithing shed.
I knew better than to get too close to his forge without a sighted guide. I had six scars on my right arm from learning that lesson.
“I told you to fuck off,” Caleb called. If he said anything else, it was drowned out by the hissing sound of his blowtorch.
Shifting to the right, I felt around until my fingers found the stone bench, and then I sank down and twirled my cane between my knees as I waited.
And waited.
I could do this all day, even if I didn’t want to.
“He’s being very stubborn.”
Oh, thatvoice.
Heat rose into my cheeks, and I tipped my head down in hopes Vanya wouldn’t be able to see my flush. His large body settled beside me. It was clear he was trying to keep space between us, but he was too bulky for that.
His thigh pressed against mine, hips nudging me gently as he settled, and it took everything in me not to collapse in his arms and just exist in his overeager embrace.
“It’s not that,” I said. “I broke our pact, and he’s pissed at me.”
“No,” Vanya said, then let out a tiny sigh and swayed into me. His breath hit my cheek, voice rumbling against my ear. It was a low, heavy, soothing tone. “He secretly is happy you went to visit. He’s angry he is not brave like you.”
“How could you possibly know that?”
“He talk a lot when he’s working,” Vanya said. “Talking to himself, maybe. Forget I am here listening. He teach me engraving machine and say, go nuts. Which is bad advice. Never go nuts with engraving machine. Is how you get bad scars.”
“Tell me you didn’t hurt yourself.” I grabbed at him, feeling along his hands, and it took me a moment to realize what I was doing. I couldn’t bring myself to let go. I ran the tips of my fingers over his calloused palms and the rough skin around his wrists where his hair grew thickest.
“Am not hurt today,” he said very quietly. “Don’t worry.”
“I’m not worried.” I wanted to sound angry.Incensed, even. Instead, the words came out nearly a whisper. Forcing myself to pull back, I folded my hands between my knees and squeezed them tight like a vise. “And heispissed at me, even if he’s pissed at himself too.”
“Yes. Your family turning so much hurt into so much anger. Is bad habit from all of you.”
I wanted to be offended, but he wasn’t wrong. It was a big fat Adams’ family curse.
“If you go talk to him, he will listen. Come. I can bring you.”
