“Okay.” I reached for him, and he grabbed me by the wrist, then slotted our fingers together.
“You told me on the train all those years ago that you let everyone misunderstand you. That it was easier.”
“All those years ago,” I mimicked with a small smile.
He huffed and squeezed my fingers. “You know what I mean. I’m trying to tell you that I know how your mind works, and you’re not going to convince me you’re not worth sticking around for. We’re friends, yes?”
“Yes.”
“So tell me, don’t tell me. I’m still here.”
I swallowed heavily, then nodded. “Thank you. And I’d like chocolate and glazed donuts, and a decaf coffee with three creams and six sugars. Andmake sure they pour it extra hot because when it’s tepid, it’s disgusting.”
“Tu me casse les couilles.”
“I know I’m being a pain in the ass. And I’m sorry,” I told him.
He laughed and leaned in, dragging me over the console and into a hug. “I will be right back.”
I appreciated that he didn’t invite me to come in. I was in asshole mode, but I was also Canadian, and my instinct would have been to accept, and then I would have hated everything even more.
As I attempted to relax, my phone began to buzz. ‘Caleb calling.’
“For fuck’s…” I muttered and answered because Caleb and I hadn’t talked in a long, long while. “This better be good,” I said by way of answering.
“It isn’t. Why is Jonah telling me you’re visiting Dad now?” His voice was sharp. Angry. Like I’d committed some heinous sin.
“I just left the Meadows whatever place. Why does it matter to you?”
He huffed. “Because we’re supposed to be a united front, dickhead. Now you’ve gone, and I’m the only one here holding fast.”
“First of all, I know you already came here, and you got yourself thrown out.”
“And?” he spat. “I went there to tell Dad what a fuckup he is, okay? Not to pander to Jonah’s babying him.”
“Jesus Christ, you think that’s what Jonah’s doing?”
“You know what, fuck you, Micah. You’re such a spineless piece of shit.”
Caleb had always been angry, but he was rarely ever cruel with his words. The venom he was spitting took me aback, and I would have said something, only I stopped when I heard an achingly familiar voice in the background of Caleb’s call.
“Micah is good guy. And very brave. Don’t be so angry.”
“Fuck you, Vanya,” Caleb nearly shouted.
I hung up before I said something I regretted. My hands began to shake, and my mind was going a million miles a minute. Vanya was there? With my brother? Just…hanging out? My head was spinning, and my heart was aching with a pain I had no right to feel because I was the one who told Vanya nothing could ever happen between us again.
When Caleb called again, I sent him to voicemail, and by the time Hugo was climbing back into the car and shoving the Timbits box into my hands, he’d called back three more times.
“Can you take me to my brother’s house?” I blurted. Fuck. That was not what I meant to say. But I couldn’t make myself take it back.
“Jonah’s?”
“Caleb’s,” I said. Oh god, this was going to be a mistake. With any luck, Vanya would be gone, but there was a small part of me that was hoping he wouldn’t be.
I wasn’t going to touch him.
I wasn’t going to invite him over.
