“Of course she is,” Alice says. “Imagine how good it would look for Sigma if one of their photographers is hooking up with Zane Calloway.”
I lean in because they’re not getting it. “She wants me to keep sending them photos.”
“That’s shady AF,” Demi shakes her head, munching on edamame.
“Maybe lucrative,” Alice says, before biting her lip.
“Are you actually suggesting she take pics of him without him knowing?” Troy asks. “That’s evil.”
“We work for a paparazzi magazine. That’s what all of us do,” Alice argues.
“This is different,” Troy says.
“I agree,” Demi chimes in. “This is different.”
“Alright, well now that you all know my current dilemma, what do I do?” I ask them.
“You go out with him,” Alice says. “And if you happen to get photos…”
“I think you should go out with him as well,” Troy says. “But 86 the photos. It doesn’t sit well with me.”
I turn my attention to Demi, desperate for a tiebreaker here.
“I don’t think you should do any of it,” she says. “The photo thing is totally unethical, and I do not recommend dating a celebrity. When I was on Billionaire Hearts, I learned very quickly that nothing snuffs the flame of romance quicker than being in the public’s eye all the time.”
Demi was on a reality TV show recently, one of those where they put an odd number of guys and an even number of chicks on an island and they all fight over each other until someone at the end survives it all and walks away with their choice of lover. Wildly enough, Demi was the last girl standing. Every guy loved her, and the public viewers sent everyone else home, leaving her with her choice of multiple very wealthy men to choose from. The wildest part…she left alone. Her choice.
“You see?” I ask. “It’s all crazy. Besides, I’m not even looking for a boyfriend, and I don’t do rebounds.”
“Aside from a one-night stand,” Alice mumbles.
“She needed that,” Troy says. “She just got divorced like a year ago.”
I drop my chopsticks on the table. “Here’s an idea. How about we don’t talk about my life anymore. Not the photos or Zane Calloway or my ex–”
“That last part might be kind of hard…” Troy says under his breath.
“Why? Is it my ex and his new wife?” I ask.
“No, but they are kind of hard to avoid,” Alice says in the same tone Troy is using. I narrow my eyes as I look at all three of their faces and then realize what’s going on. Slowly I turn around and see Mitchell and Becca walking into the restaurant.
Great. This is my life.
“We can leave if you want to,” Demi offers.
“No, it’s fine,” I say. “It doesn’t even bother me.”
“It doesn’t bother you that the man who left you because you wanted to be a mom is sitting with his new wife eating miso soup like life is good?” Troy asks.
It sounds bad; I know. What’s worse is me wanting to be a mom, obsessing over trying to get pregnant, only to have him get frustrated and walk out isn’t the only terrible thing that happened. I also lost my job at the daycare because as a recently heartbroken woman who wanted nothing more than to be a mom, it was nearly impossible for me to continue working with babies and little kids. I knew in my heart that was the closest I was going to come to motherhood.
So no. Seeing Mitchell isn’t the sore spot. Seeing him move on while I turned my love for photography into a career in paparazzi makes the bruise tender. It’s also what makes those photos of me and Zane’s proposal more degrading.
I do my best to hide it all, though. Demi knows the real me and shifts the conversation in a different direction. We finish dinner within the next thirty minutes, and while everyone else is ready to hit up a bar, I decide to just go home.
I have a lot to think about. Whether or not I like it, Zane consumes my thoughts. Despite being annoyed that any of this ever happened, there’s something about him that is impossible not to think about. And by think about, I mean even as I stand in the shower of my studio apartment, a pile of bills on my kitchen counter, and a pile of laundry I have yet to put away, I find myself daydreaming about him. Every part of him…
As the hot water hits my skin, my nerves heat up too. My thoughts drift back to last night and the way he carried me into his house. I remember watching him strip down right in front of me, relishing every single second.
