My heart squeezed so sharply I gave a little silent gasp. I clenched my hands, digging my fingernails into my palms, using the pain to center me.Be strong, Lolly. You can get through this. I couldn’t help it, though. I glanced around involuntarily, looking for two little heads—one dark and one coppery. I knew it was impossible, that the girls were not here with him, but I desperately, desperately wanted it to be true.
“You were always so good at growing things.” He smiled up at me, meeting my eyes, and there was something in his look I couldn’t decipher; it almost seemed wistful. I shook off the thought.Stop dreaming, girl. Get back to reality.
“Your mom told me you’re back in Seattle,” I said brightly, managing to keep my voice steady and normal-sounding.Yes, good, that’s it.A warm and friendly tone but distant.
I felt so awkward. What should I do with my hands? I tucked them in the pockets of my sundress and bit my lip. I had to remember that our life in Florida was not reality. He had a real wife now. They had a child together. In this life, we had gone our separate ways years ago.
“Yeah, we’re here for a few months at least.” He was looking over the flavor board. “Hey, can I have...” His brow wrinkled. “You choose. Whatever you think I’d like. You know me.” He smiled, that sweet,slightly mischievous smile, lips curving up at the edges. It was so familiar I sucked in a breath. He looked up at me, and for a moment I was thirteen again, standing in the diner, a bottle of glass cleaner in my hand.Oh, Rory, I loved you from the start. How did we get here? How did I ever let you go?
I swallowed hard and turned to the freezers, blindly grabbing the first popsicles I could find. Raspberry mint with marigolds. “You like raspberries, right?” I said stiffly. “Here, on the house. Welcome back.” I handed him two through the window opening. “Does your wife like mint?”
He looked surprised for a moment, then hesitated, his smile falling away. “Ah, ex-wife, actually.” He reached out for one of the popsicles. Our fingers brushed as he took the stick from me. “The divorce was finalized a few months ago. Emily’s still back in Florida. It’s been... a really rough year.”
“Oh.” I was speechless. Stunned. Emily. Ex-wife. Those straight teeth and fall of silvery-blond hair, the kind of figure that made mom jeans look ironic and actually good. “I didn’t know.” I stammered finally.
He nodded, then said, sounding resigned, “That’s why I’m back here for the summer. Just needed to get away for a while, gain some perspective. I brought our son, Noah, with me to visit my folks. He and I are here for the summer.”
“Oh.” I couldn’t quite get my bearings. I felt like the floor of the truck was tilting under my feet.
“I got a six-month leave of absence,” Rory explained. “Figured we’d live here this summer, let Noah spend a lot of time with his grandparents, and then we’ll head back to Florida before school starts. Here, this is Noah. He’s at the children’s museum with my mom right now.” He pulled his phone from his pocket and swiped it on, holding it up so I could see it. A cute freckled kid with berries smeared across his facewas mugging for the camera. He had Rory’s coppery curls, but looked more like Emily in the eyes. He seemed vaguely familiar. Perhaps echoes of Rory as a child.
“He’s adorable.” I felt my throat close around the words, imagining for a moment another little face on that screen, smudgy face and copper hair and a neon-orange bunny.
“He’s a great kid.” Rory put his phone in his pocket, smiling the proud smile of parenthood. He took a bite of the popsicle. His eyes widened. “Okay, I admit I was skeptical about eating flowers, but the flavor is amazing. Lolly, this is really good.”
“Thanks.” I looked down at the popsicle I’d fished out as a goodwill gesture for his wife. Now ex-wife. I placed it back in the freezer. Rory was newly single, with a son and a job in Florida. But no Emily. No wife. And no girls either. I didn’t know what I felt more strongly, relief or grief.
A trio of white-haired ladies in hiking outfits wandered over and stood in line behind Rory. He quickly moved to the side but lingered, watching me as he ate his popsicle. I served the women, patiently answering questions and accepting their suggestions for new flavors. I could feel his eyes on me the entire time, and it made me so nervous I fumbled and dropped one of the popsicles and had to get a new one. I was so aware of him, standing there licking his popsicle, so relaxed in his cool burnt-orange-colored shorts and vintage national parks T-shirt, looking like he had all the time in the world.
Finally, after what seemed like an interminable amount of time, the ladies moved on to the handmade cheese stand next door. I took a quick peek around. The farmers market was winding down. Just a few minutes to go and the crowd was thinning out. Making a split-second decision, I flipped my sign over toClosed.
“Stay right there,” I told Rory. Not exactly sure what I was doing or why I was doing it, I slid the window closed and grabbed two popsiclesfrom the freezer. I locked the door of the truck behind me and motioned Rory to follow. “Come on.”
We passed Eve’s stand on the way. She saw Rory and raised her eyebrows in consternation. I gave her a thumbs-up behind his back, and she gave me a slow nod as we went by. Rory didn’t see her, and she didn’t call out to us.
When we reached the front window of the Eatery, I stopped. It had a shiny new sign,Rind and Vine, but wasn’t open till later in the day. The new owners were a sweet couple from Northern California who had opened a wine and cheese shop and tasting room in the space. Frankly, I wasn’t sure how well it was doing. I’d driven by a couple of times on my way to see Dad, and there never seemed to be a crowd inside. Rory stepped back into the street and surveyed the building.
“Wow, this brings back a lot of memories.” He shook his head ruefully. “Time marches on, huh? We spent a lot of good hours here.”
I stood next to him, melting popsicle running from the seams of the wrapper down my hand. “Yes, we did.”
We stood for a minute side by side. I could see our reflection in the glass. So many years ago we’d been on the other side of this glass, side by side then too. It had been the start of something tragic and wonderful. I wondered briefly what today would turn out to be. I had no idea what to think or feel, still flummoxed that he was standing next to me.
“Here, let’s sit. I’ve been on my feet for hours.” I motioned him over and we perched on the lip of the low windowsill. It was too narrow for comfort, but we sat together, so close my skirt brushed his thigh. I handed him a popsicle, my new favorite flavor, rose petals and Rainier cherries. As we licked our treats, I stole a glance at Rory. How astonishing that we would find ourselves back here all these years later.
“I’m sorry about Emily,” I said, finding that, in a way, I was. He looked like he’d been through the wringer. I could tell it had cost him greatly.
He nodded, looking down at his hands, turning the melting popsicle as it dripped onto the pavement by his Rainbow flip-flops. “I didn’t see it coming. Sometimes life just upends your plans, you know? You think the future holds one thing, and it actually turns out to be something totally different.”
“I know how that goes,” I said softly.
He glanced at me. “Yeah, I know you do.”
We licked our popsicles in silence for a minute. There was so much history between us. It didn’t feel like sitting with someone I hadn’t seen or spoken with in seven years. It felt like, in some way, we could take up our friendship right where we’d left off. After so many years together there was a deep sense of familiarity I found comforting.
“You know, I thought about you a lot since we parted ways,” Rory said conversationally, quietly.
My heart sped up. “Oh?”
