“I’m more of a spring lady myself. I love it when the flowers start to bloom; there’s something magical about it.” She shakes her head as if clearing it. “Right. Time for a wee, have you had one yet?”
I look around, and she bursts out laughing. “What, you mean me?” My voice rises an octave, and she nods.
“Yes, you. We must make sure that you can pee and poo properly. We want to prevent any infections that can be caused by a buildup of not going to the toilet. Not only does your brain not want you to do it out of fear of it hurting, but your hormones make changes too.” She hesitates a moment before asking me, “Would you like some advice?”
“Yes, please, I’m way out of my depth.”
“Your body has gone through what is essentially trauma. Everything is sore down there right now, and the last thing you want to do is make it worse, so if I were you, I’d take a jug of warm water, and as you pee, pour the water on yourself…downthere.” She points as if to emphasise where she means. “It will make it a whole lot easier.”
I don’t move, torn between needing to use the toilet and leaving Peanut. Jules catches me looking. “Would you like me to sit with her while you use the toilet and shower?”
“I’m showering now?”
She laughs at the look on my face. “Might as well, dear, you’re already in there.” She picks up my little girl and rocks her, looking utterly content.
I pick up the jug that Jules left for me and make my way into the washroom, placing my belongings on the side to keep them dry. I fill the jug with warm water and follow Jules' suggestion.
Switching the shower on, I step under the spray and let it wash away everything negative that has happened, every thought I’ve had that hasn’t been positive, all the stress that has been caused recently, and by the time I’m finished, I feel refreshed and happy.
I must have been in there longer than I had realised, because when I step out, I see flowers and balloons piled into a corner. Sitting in the armchair is Cole, with little Peanut engulfed in his big arms. He hasn’t noticed me yet, and I take a moment to watch him with her, wondering how I got so lucky to have fallen in love with my best friend.
He must sense me watching him because his eyes flick up to mine, and a warm smile spreads across his face. “She’s asleep.” He whispers the words and stands, gently placing her in the crib that the hospital provided. Then, he strides purposefully towards me, and when he reaches me, he cups my face with one hand and threads his other hand through my hair before searching my eyes. “Are you okay?”
I smile and wind my arms around his neck. “I am now.” Then he kisses me slowly, pouring every ounce of love he can into that one kiss, and I can feel it.
“I love you so much, Lacey. I love you both so much.”
**********
1 week later. Baby size = MASSIVE.
We ended up spending a total of two days in the hospital because our little Peanut had caught an infection, and since we have been home, it’s been chaotic to say the least. I haven’t had to lift a finger to cook a meal because everyone keeps bringing us food. My home has never looked as tidy as it does now, because either May or Emmy gets busy tidying up when they’re around. My dad has been here every day, helping Cole, looking after Peanut so that we can get some sleep.
It has been utter bliss…but – and that is the thing that stops me from being happy, the‘but’.
“Lacey, I can hear you thinking. It’s very loud.” Cole rumbles behind me, and his arm snakes further around my waist, pulling me to him.
“I’m sorry, baby. Go back to sleep, it’s nothing.” I lift his hand to my lips and place a kiss there.
“It is something, enough to keep you awake anyway. Talk to me.”
“What are we going to name Peanut? We can’t call her Peanut for the rest of her life…”
“I thought you liked your mum's name.” Of course, he remembers that,and that was what we decided, but deep down, I mean, her last name…say it then, dummy!
“Yeah, I do.”
“I think Peanut Peterson has a beautiful ring to it. Unless you want us both to take your name?”
I shuffle myself to turn over and look at him. “What do you mean, both of you? Do you want us to have the same name? I mean me?”
“Lacey, there is no doubt in my mind that I want you to have my last name, but it’s your choice. It always has been.”
“I want that.” I smile as he kisses me slowly, and we break apart when we hear our little girl crying. “I’ll get her this time.” I climb out of bed, but before I leave the room, I twirl around and catch him looking at me. “Cole, I’m really happy with you. This, what we have, is everything I’ve always wanted.”
I watch his eyes glaze over as he blows me a kiss.
My best friend loves me.
