Akiva didn’t even look up from his sundae, his spoon scraping over the mountains of toppings. “About the discount? I knew you were cheap.”
“About Arielle. We didn’t… just talk. That’s why I had all those stupid questions.”
Akiva’s head shot up, and his eyes widened as he took in Judah’s guilty face. “Holy shit.You? Hooked up with Arielle Becker? No fucking way.”
“Keep your voice down,” Judah hissed instinctively, even though there was no chance anyone around them was listening in. “I shouldn’t have told you that, but you told me about you, and—”
“No, dude, I am so happy you told me that. You’re, like, sixty-nine percent more human to me now.” Akiva took a huge lick of ice cream off his spoon, dropping sprinkles everywhere. “And I’m glad it wasn’t just you being a dick. But man, I thought you were shomer.”
Judah opened his mouth to say “It’s complicated,” the very same phrase he’d used with Arielle in his car, but he immediately heard her response in his head: “Then uncomplicate it.”
“I am, or at least I was. I definitely don’t think I can call myself that anymore after last night,” he said sheepishly. “And I know it’s not supposed to be easy, that I’m supposed to rise to the challenge, but… it’s never been a challenge for me. I’ve never even been tempted. But Iwantedto be, to know what it felt like to want, which I know sounds ridiculous in its own right.”
“And then you discovered there’s a horndog raging inside you just waiting to be unleashed by the sexual prowess of Arielle Becker?” Akiva asked with a grin.
Judah closed his eyes and sighed. “Apparently. And yes, I feel guilty about it, but not as much as I thought I would. I’m still trying to understand why.”
“So how’d it happen? Had one beer too many and went back to her place?”
“It wasn’t—” Judah shook his head. “We weren’t drunk. I wouldn’t do that. We kept seeing each other at all these weddings, and at the last one, one thing led to another…”
“Wait, this happenedbeforemy party? At a wedding you wereworking? Oh, man.” Akiva was flailing so hard now that he had to hold his kippah down. “This is so excellent. Oh my God.”
“Okay, that’s the end,” Judah said firmly.
“Clearly it wasn’t, because then came my party.” Akiva leaned forward, his dark-blue eyes sparkling. “So you’ve made out with Arielle Beckertwice?” He must’ve seen something in Judah’s face, because he added, “Wait. Have youmorethan made out?”
Judah groaned and rubbed his eyes, trying to will away the image of Arielle on her knees, the sound of her moan as she rubbed up against his thigh, the sweet taste of her mouth, as if Akiva could somehow see into his brain. It wouldn’t be themostsurprising thing, considering every minute of their encounter last night was most likely seared into his gray matter permanently.
“Youdid. Ho. Ly. Shit.”
“I am not telling you a single other thing,” Judah said firmly. “I feel shitty for telling you this already.”
“Andhe curses! Bro, thank you. This is literally the best birthday I have ever had.”
Judah huffed as he slumped back in his seat. “I see why you two are friends.”
His brother grinned and took another bite. “For what it’s worth, she’s a very cool girl. She and the others who were at lunch at my apartment on Shabbos are the only other straight people who know about me.” His expression grew serious. “So, are you two, like, dating?”
“Absolutely not,” Judah insisted, surprising them both with the fierceness in his voice. He took a deep breath and started again. “We were just having some fun. She and I are on the same page, I assure you.”
“The same naked page.”
Judah rolled his eyes. “There have been no naked pages.” Just her mouth wrapped around him, tongue doing unspeakable things. His greedy hands filled with her perfect ass. To actually see her in all her glory would probably make his brain explode. Not that he hadn’t pictured it, but at least for now, he could tell himself his mental image was an exaggeration.
But he had a feeling that if anything, he was underselling, and that if he ever did see her naked, she would ruin all other women for him for good.
Which meant that could not happen. Because there would, please God, be another woman at some point. And he could not be imagining sliding Arielle Becker’s black lace panties down her legs—
A burst of laughter from his brother jolted him out of his reverie. “Wow.You absolutely disappeared for a minute there. She’s that good, huh?”
“Better,” Judah muttered as he got up from the table, too tired to lie, and tossed his trash in the can on the corner.
Akiva’s laughter followed him all the way down the street as he jogged after him. “I’m sorry, I’m just—”
“Stunned and delighted that your brother’s a ‘horndog’—yeah, I got that.”
“Okay, seriously though. I’m glad you told me. I guess this explains why you’re suddenly willing to come to my Shabbos meals and parties.”
