“Of course we can go,” Laine says firmly. “Nothing’s more important than being there for your family, not even the showcase.” She tries to pull me back to her chest, but this time, I don’t let her.
“What doyouknow about being there for your family? You left them before, and you’re going to leave them all over again!”
Laine swallows. “I did. And I know now it’s a mistake, choosing work over the people you love, and I’ll never let distance come between us again.” A thin current of hurt spikes her words. “But that’s a mistake you don’t need to make, too.”
Is she talking about me and Italy, or me and her? Because Bluebell has never been a choice for me. It’s all I have.
The tears come then, finally, and I let them pull me down, down, down.
In the end, Laine handles everything. She alternates checking on me with calling in favors from our friends, finding my passport, and booking my travel arrangements while I lie curled up in bed, falling apart. The tears break me down, but they put me back together again, too. When the heaving sobs finally stop, I’m exhausted and devastated, but I’m also breathing normally again, and the imprisoning spiral of my thoughts has slowed from mad carousel of terror to the stable, sleepy swings of a pendulum. Back and forth, up and down, the grief and fear rise within me, then retreat again.
We don’t talk much. She holds me, though, all night long, and in the small hours of the morning. I lie there, memorizing the feel of her skin against mine. The warm brush of her breath across my neck. The weight of her arm resting on my hip, fingers splayed across my stomach. Her body is so relaxed lying atop mine, as though it’s easy for her to trust in my solidity. As though she doesn’t live in fear that I’ll disappear. Maybebecause she knows that I can’t. Like Rapunzel trapped in her tower, I’m as much a part of this vineyard as its wine.
At the unholy hour of four a.m., Teddy comes ripping into our parking lot like braking is for amateurs, my ride to the airport. Laine and I are outside waiting for him, the small suitcase she packed waiting by my feet like an obedient dog. Teddy comes to a stop right in front of us, his window rolling down. He’s wearing his gold wire aviators propped on his head even though the sun won’t rise for hours.
“Get in, loser, we’re going to Italy!”
I huff out a confused sound. Teddy pops the trunk, and there’s barely enough room for my small carry-on amid a suite of matching designer luggage.
“Um …” I stand there, frowning at his open trunk. “Teddy?”
“Once I decided to take your mopey ass to the airport, I thought, why stop at the boring part?” he yells over his shoulder. “You need me and my sunshine, Zoe. Now get your ass in.”
I turn to Laine. “Did you do this?”
Laine shrugs one shoulder, the corner of her mouth quirked up to match. Her eyes are dark and tired, though, worn thin from the weight of my despair. “You won’t let me come with you, but you never said Teddy couldn’t.” She takes me by the wrists, pulls me to her, and after a second’s hesitation, kisses me.
Teddy lays on the horn.
Laine locks her eyes on mine. “You take care ofyou, Zoe. Leave the rest of the world to the rest of the world, okay?”
I nod, a hollow promise. It all falls on me, one way or another.
Her goodbye’s still lingering on my lips as I close the car door.
Teddy exhales loudly and throws us into drive. “Finally.Jesus.”
“Thanks for doing this, Teddy,” I say quietly to his profile, framed by the dark mountains beyond.
“What, canceling Mr. Gibbons’s root canal? Gladly.” Teddy turns on his blinker for a split second before jutting into the next lane. “That old bastard can go to the twisted sadist down in Jasper for all I care.”
I sigh against the window at the world rushing past us.
“But, Zoe?”
“Yeah?”
“You better have TSA pre-check, so help me God, I willnotwait for a bitch.”
By the time we’re settled into our assigned seats, two middle ones in the long middle row on a massive planestuffedwith loud, excited high school students on a field trip, Teddy’s had two spiked coffees, a small meltdown in the Popeyes line, and a full recovery when he found the newest Alexis Hall rom-com at the bookstore. I’minfinitelyglad he’s here. The world’s indignities and insults never land as hard when Teddy’s there to chew them out for me.
Something in my expression stops him from diving into his book, though. With a sigh, he closes it and takes out his earbuds, akateen-murder-prevention devicesas he calls them.
“All right, Zoe. Out with it.”
“Huh?”
“Your fears. Your worries. Everything that’s troubling your pensive little mind.”
