JULIAN
I’m doing this FOR the family, for ALL of Sparrow Nook. If you saw HALF of what I’ve seen in the ER, you’d know how dangerous marijuana is!
AUNT EDNA
People insert foreign objects into butts sober, too.
JULIAN
?????!!!!
MOM
Oh, honey.
ELLIO
You see what you’re doing to your mother? Withdraw the complaint!
ALDO
This woman heard my last name at the bar last night, and then she wouldn’t give me her number. Because of YOU, Julian!
JULIAN
You sure it’s not because you were wearing last season’s Armani Exchange jeans?
MARCO
HOOO
ELLIO
HOOOOO
AUNT EDNA
Now that was uncalled for.
UNCLE ROCCO
Can someone pick up a Stocks pound cake?
MARCO
Gotchu, Pop. JULIAN, WITHDRAW THE COMPLAINT!!!
Julian has left the chat.
I shove the phone into my back pocket, steaming. One person’s in front of me, and he’s taking forever. He asks about each item on the menu, what kind of cannabis was used, and what will work best for his anxiety.
“Exercise,” I say, interrupting Nomi’s spiel. “Exercisewill help your anxiety. Not drugs.”
The man flinches as if I slapped him.
“Do not speak to my customers like that, or you will be asked toleave.” Nomi glares at me.
“Me, leave? You’re the one operating an illegal drug trade on the side of Highway Five like it’s the goddamn Silk Road!”
