Graham ducks his chin at me. “It’s out of a hundred, bro.”
“I don’t mind his whole crusade against food dyes, personally,” Eve continues gamely. “His views on vaccinesarea little overblown, though.”
“Alittleoverblown?” I manage out through measured breathing.
“You know, my mother never vaccinated me,” Graham proffers, “and I didn’t catch polio or whatever. Maybe,” he wags his finger at me, “he’s onto something.”
I blink rapidly. “Are you fuckingseriousright n-OW!” I whimper, rubbing my wrist, but Nomi’s laughing again, tears trailing down her cheeks.
“Julian, they’re messing with you!” She wipes her tears, chest still shaking. “Can’t you control yourself?”
“Not about vaccines, no,” I reply glumly.
“Okay, that’s fair,” Eve says. “Started off too hot. Let’s back it up a step. Julian, have you ever—”
Just then, the front door to the shop opens, and Carl sticks his head inside a full hour early. “You open?”
“Does the signsayopen?” I spit out.
Zap!
The shriek bellows from my body. Carl jumps back.
“Um, it says closed?” Carl says tentatively, like this is the biggest mystery in the universe.
“Then it’s CLOSED, CARL!”
Zap! Zap!
I flail behind the booth’s table while Carl shuts the door quickly.
“Wow,” Graham says. “This is worse than I thought.”
“You’re such a dick,” Nomi says, though she’s smiling at me fondly. She hates Carl, too.
Eve clears her throat. “As I was saying, have you ever noticed how women always have one big flap?”
Nomi’s laughter dies, and she turns to glare at her. “Eve!”
I frown, confused but relieved I’m not battling an immediate spike of anger. “Uh, what?”
“The labia majora, scientifically speaking. One side’s always bigger.” Eve cocks her chin up and folds her arms. “Tell me I’m wrong.”
I huff. “Well, they don’t teachthatat the Yale School of Medicine.”
Zap!
I stare at Nomi, incredulous, but she just shrugs. “Condescending! Try again.”
“Alright.” I sit up straighter. “I think I’dknowif women had—”
Zap!
Nomi raises her eyebrows. “You can do better.”
I breathe in deeply, channeling patience. Jesus, myteethfeel weird. “In my experience, no, I have not noticed one big flap.”
Nomi nods, satisfied.
