Watching Pete’s slideshow, I missed it all.
But that was just a fact about the past. You had no choice but to let it go.
Even if you didn’t want to.
Even if you would remember exactly the way it had kissed you senseless on a windblown balcony for the rest of your miserable life.
THE MORNING OFAshley’s wedding, she came and found me at breakfast with some front-page gossip. “You are about to be so glad you gave up on Finn,” she said, steering me off into a corner.
“Why?”
“Because I just ran into Harmony in the elevator, and she was rattling off her list of conquests—literally counting on her fingers. And guess who is on her list—twice?”
“Just from context,” I said, “I’m gonna guess Finn?”
Ashley nodded, wrinkling her nose at having to deliver such unsavory news.
“Ugh!” I said, clamping my eyes closed and waving my hand at Ashley, likeStop!
“Apparently,” Ashley went on, “he’s been on quite the sex bender since his divorce. Harmony estimates he’s in the double digits already—on this cruise alone.”
I shifted my hand down from my eyes to my mouth—and stared at Ashley.
“I’m sorry,” Ashley said then. “Is this upsetting to hear?”
I considered the question. “Actually? No.”
“No? You’re not heartbroken?”
I held still to see if I could detect any unhappiness rattling around in my body. Then I answered, “Nope. Nothing.”
“I know you had decided against him, but still—”
But I just shook my head. “Maybe he’s on a healing journey.”
Ashley snorted. “Sexualhealing.”
“The traumatizing part is being one degree of separation from Harmony,” I said.
“Thatisway too close for comfort,” Ashley agreed. “Although, apparently, she’s become friends with Grandma Dodie.”
“She—what?” Grandma Dodie was the best person in the family. How could she be consorting with the worst?
But Ashley nodded to confirm. “Grandma Dodie thinks she’s ‘very bright.’ She’s become a fan. They’ve been knitting together on the lido deck.”
“Knittingtogether?” Knitting was my thing!
Ashley shrugged. “She’s making a vest.”
“A vest?!” Now this was going too far.
“Anyway,” Ashley said, “Grandma Dodie says she’s not all bad. And we should all be more open-minded about each other.”
Huh.
Ashley watched me think about that, and then said, “You’re not jealous, are you?”
At the wordjealous, I burst out with a laugh. “I’m fine.”
