“Yeah?” He turns to face me, shoving his hands deeper into his coat pockets.
“What exactly did Fallon mean in there? About the dynamic shifting? It feels like there’s something you’re not telling me. “
Eli sighs, a white cloud of breath puffing out between us. He looks up at the night sky, avoiding my eyes. “It’s a long story.”
“I’ve got time.” I hug my arms around myself. “Please. I feel like I’m missing a huge piece of the puzzle here.”
He lowers his gaze to mine. The brown in his eyes is warm, but there’s a hesitancy there that makes my stomach tighten.
“When we were in our early twenties, living in Portland... things were different,” he starts slowly. “We were young, successful, and stupid. We... we used to share Omegas.”
My eyebrows shoot up. “Share them? Like, all three of you at once?”
He nods, looking a bit embarrassed. “It wasn’t malicious. It was just... casual. Physical. We were a pack, and we did everything together. We thought we could keep our emotions out of it.”
“Let me guess. You couldn’t.”
“No.” He gives a bitter laugh. “We couldn’t. There were two specific situations that made us realize we were playing with fire.”
He leans back against the car next to mine, shifting his weight. “The first was a girl named Angela. She was sweet, funny. She was mostly with me—I connected with her on a different level than the others. But I tried to share her with Knox and Fallon because that’s what we did. It got messy. Fallon got possessive. Knox got frustrated because he felt like he was intruding on an actual relationship that was forming. It ended badly. Lots of yelling, hurt feelings.”
I wince. “That sounds awful.”
“It was. But the second time was worse. Her name was Mary.” Eli’s jaw tightens. “She realized pretty quickly that she had power over us. She played us. She’d tell Knox one thing, then tell Fallon another, then come to me crying about it. She nearly destroyed us. We stopped speaking to each other for months. Blade & Butter almost didn’t happen because we couldn’t stand to be in the same room.”
My heart aches for him. I can’t imagine these three men, who move like a single organism in the kitchen, being torn apart by anyone.
“So, after that, we made a pact,” he continues. “A kind of rule. No emotional connections. No permanent pack relationships. We date and sleep around, but we never let an Omega become more important than the pack. We decided that our friendship and the business comes first. Always.”
I stare at him, processing this. “Okay. But... you like me. Fallon likes me. Knox likes me. Doesn’t that break the rule?”
“That’s the problem.” Eli steps closer, his presence warm in the cold night air. “We’ve never had this happen before. Usually, it’s just one of us interested, or it’s purely physical. This... thisis different. All three of us are drawn to you. And it’s not just physical. At least, not for me.”
He stops, looking down at his boots.
I swallow hard, my throat suddenly dry. “So, what does this mean for me? Do you guys think I’m going to be like Mary? Do you think I’m going to play you against each other?”
Eli’s head snaps up, his eyes wide. “God, no. Amber, no. That’s not what I’m saying at all.”
“Then what are you saying? Because I’m getting some serious mixed signals here. One minute you’re kissing me, the next Knox is acting like I’m a hazard in the kitchen, and Fallon is,” I wave a hand helplessly, “being Fallon.”
“We’re figuring it out,” he says firmly. “We know you aren’t Mary. You’re honest. You’re hardworking. You’re... you.”
“That doesn’t tell me what you want, Eli.”
He takes a deep breath, stepping into my personal space. He reaches up, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. His fingers are cold, but his touch is gentle.
“I want you to be happy,” he says softly. “I would never try to make a decision for you. If you want Knox, I’ll step back. If you want Fallon, I’ll step back. If you want none of us, I’ll respect that.”
My heart stutters. “It’s that simple?”
“No.” He shakes his head, a sad smile touching his lips. “It’s not simple at all. Because I’m selfish, Amber.”
“Selfish how?”
“Because if you ever make a decision that you only want one person...” He pauses, his voice dropping to a whisper. “I’m going to beg you to choose me.”
The air rushes out of my lungs. “Eli...”
