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I expose my soul to her, letting the past two years of pent-up emotions release without thinking about the consequences. But that’s what happens when feelings are covered—they boil over and someone gets burned.
Lennon paces in front of me, looking at the floor and is sealed up so tight, it’s almost scary.
The tension and quietness screams at me. “Lennon. Can you say something? Please?” I plead. I know I just dropped a huge confession bomb on her, but I’m desperate for a response. Time slows down, the silence kills me, but I’m not walking away from this or her. I’ll wait.
She finally looks at me with tears in her eyes, then shrugs. “What do you want me to say right now? I-I don’t know how to process this, Hunter. I’ve got a lot of things to work out in my head. I don’t have any words. Congratulations, you’ve left me speechless.” She waves her arms up in the air before slapping them down to her sides.
I can tell she’s upset with me, but this isn’t over yet. I’ve opened the door to this conversation, and now I’m walking through. There’s no turning back now that it’s all out there.
“I don’t know…anything! Admit that I’m not alone in feeling this way, tell me to fuck off, tell me it’s all one-sided. Just say something!” I’m no longer being rational, my feelings completely on the line as I beg for her to admit what I know is in her heart.
“I don’t know what to think! You changed overnight the day Brandon died, and now I’m just supposed to believe you had feelings for me all along? That our fake relationship was real to you? What am I supposed to say? That maybe I did feel something too, but—” Lennon stops herself as tears surface in her eyes.
“You don’t have to say it, Lennon,” I tell her when I see how hard she’s struggling with this realization. I know the guilt she feels because of Brandon. I feel it too. “But can you answer one question for me at least?” I ask, then continue when she looks up at me. “That night we met at the bar, I asked you to come back. Why didn’t you? I planned on asking for your number and always wondered what scared you off. I could never figure out why you didn’t choose me because I would’ve bet my life that you felt the same chemistry that I had. You can’t tell me it was all in my head.” I lay it all out there—my soul, my heart, my feelings. I’ve wondered for two years, and even if I won’t like her answer, at least I’ll know and can put it to rest.
With her head slightly tilted, her eyes finally meet mine. She looks confused as hell as if she’s staring at a stranger, but I see a flicker of something behind her eyes. Want? Need? Maybe I’m imagining it, but maybe I’m not.
“Hunter…” she says softly, her chest rising and falling rapidly.
“I wanna know, Lennon,” I tell her, holding my stance. I’m too far in to back out now.
“Okay, fine,” she responds, then swallows hard. “I watched you that night, contemplating on going back to talk to you, but you were surrounded by beautiful women all fighting for your attention. I overheard one talking about how she had slept with you the weekend before. It was clear to me that you were a player, and I wasn’t looking for that. I figured I’d never see you again. I—”
“Lennon,” I cut her off, her words a dagger to my pounding heart. I’m a fucking idiot. “That was my lifestyle back then, there’s no denying that, but you were the only woman I saw that night,” I admit, my throat threatening to close up. “I felt it from the moment I met you.”
She sucks in a breath, and her shoulders rise and fall. “I wanted more than a weekend fling, and I knew you’d be a heartbreaker. You know my past, Hunter. You know how my ex hurt me. I felt like I could never satisfy someone like you, that I would never be enough. I didn’t want to compete for your attention. After listening to those women talk, I realized you were nothing more than a fuckboy with good looks to back it up. I couldn’t risk getting hurt again.”
Frowning, I step toward her, needing to close the gap between us. I brush my thumb over her cheek, feeling the softness against my skin and craving more. “I was, but trust me when I say things would’ve been different with you. I would’ve done anything to make you happy and treated you right. Since that night, you’ve been the only woman I’ve ever truly wanted even when it was wrong.”
