My heart swells with gratitude.
“Yes, that’s the rest of our family. That room would be great right about now.”
“Okay, follow me.”
I get the others’ attention, and Trystan helps haul Colin forward, ready to catch him if he collapses. The man looks two seconds from tanking. I’m a bit worried.
“Um, do you have something small for the patient’s husband, or could you point me toward vending? Colin looks like he’s going to pass out.”
The nurse takes another look over her shoulder at him and winces before telling me where to go once we reach the family waiting room. Thankfully, it’s pretty close to the vending area. I look through the array of choices–mostly shit–and have a hard time choosing something. That’s likely because they’re all blurry.Crap. I suck up a sniffle and wipe haphazardly at the tears streaking down my face.Sydney…I look up toward the ceiling, willing my silent prayer for them all to be okay to be heard.
“Hey, thought you might need some help. Or a hug,” a gruff voice calls out from behind me. I jump, yanked out of my prayer. Trystan stands there pulling a few dollar bills from his wallet, then looks up and notices my tear-streaked cheeks. “Oh, Hollz, come here.”
Trystan folds me into his arms and presses a soft kiss to the top of my hair. It helps just a little.
“I can’t lose her. We can’t lose them, Trystan. It will destroy him. It will break all of us.”
“I know,” Trystan mumbles, voice thick as he sticks the dollars in one by one but not letting me go. “The thought is unfathomable.” He punches buttons with a smidge too much force, blows out a frustrated breath, and watches items drop. “All we can do is pray and hold on. The rest is out of our hands. I’ve got you. We’ve all got you guys. Just think of all the crap we’ve already been through. We can get through anything coming our way… together.”
I nod and sniffle loudly again as I pull away and gather myself. Colin needs us.
“Okay. Let’s get back in there before he keels over or we miss something.”
Within ten minutes of being in the room, the phone rings and Jane picks it up. She nods as she listens to something being said and says an ‘ok, thank you’, her mouth forming a tight line as she hangs up.
“A nurse from the OR said Jaxon is on his way up.”
Her head swivels as she looks over at Colin nursing a bottle of water, as Ava rubs his back with soothing circles. Mark paces beside him with an arm tucked under his pit and some fingers absentmindedly worrying his bottom lip. Their movements pause, then flurry, when Colin grabs the small trashcan next to the wall beside him and retches into it. We’re all on edge. It hasn’t been that long since they went down.
Jaxon walks into the room, still in his street clothes.They didn’t even have time to change.His eyes find mine for a split second before searching for Colin. The tension in the room is palpable as Jaxon walks up to Colin and crouches. Mark rests a hand on Colin’s shoulder. Jaxon reaches out to put his hand on Colin’s knee, and Colin shudders, closing his eyes tightly before taking a deep breath and rolling his gaze up to Jaxon’s. We all stop breathing.
“The twins are here. They’re going to be okay. You have a boy and a girl.”
A burst of air punches from Colin’s lungs as tears silently streak down his face.
“Sydney?” he whispers, voice on the edge of breaking.
Jaxon squeezes his knee tightly.
“She’s hanging in there. We’re not out of the woods yet. She’s lost a lot of blood. They’ve got blood hanging as we speak while Dr. Wideman is trying to stop the bleeding. I need to get back down there in case she needs me, but I knew you needed to hear something. Needed hope. Wideman said Sydney really wanted the babies to get skin to skin contact right away, so I’ll have a nurse come get you to take you to them. I’ll be back as soon as I have more news. You got her here, Colin. You saved those babies.”
Colin takes in another shaky breath, but he looks like he’s in a whole different place mentally. My heart is aching for him. I can’t even begin to imagine how hard this is on him. Jaxon waits a second.
“I just have one question to ask. If we can’t stop the hemorrhaging, do we have consent for an emergency hysterectomy?”
Colin flinches, then looks back to Jaxon.
“I hate to even think it, but I want to go back down there with the necessary info in case it comes down to a hard decision.”
Colin sits forward, elbows on his knees, and covers his mouth with both hands. He’s scared Sydney will hate him if he makes that choice for her. His eyes roll to mine.
I swallow, but there’s no spit to go down, then nod.
“If it's the choice of future babies or no future with all of you, it's simple. She’d choose the three of you every time,” Ichoke out, knowing it would still be a blow; also, knowing in my gut it’s what she would want.
He looks back to Jaxon and nods, unable to utter the words. Jaxon nods back and squeezes Colin one more time before standing, looking my way with an undecipherable glance, and disappearing back down the hall. I look around the room at all my friends before walking over and taking Jaxon’s place in front of Colin.
“Hey.”
