But of course, he didn’t glance my way again.
It hurt to see him hurting, but it ached more to see him pull away. Rosemont had begun to feel like my home, but was my presence here making Atlas seek solace elsewhere?
After breakfast, Augusta and I relocated to the library.
“What’s the matter, Estelle?” she asked. “What happened yesterday in the garden after I left?”
I rubbed my forehead, wishing I could tell her. But it was not my secret to share. “I suppose you could say that Atlas and I had a difference of opinion.”
“Drat. Well, one of you had better apologize. I have arranged your future marriage meticulously in my mind, and youwillbe my sister.”
Her words broke through my worry and made me smile. “Whatever happens, we can still be sisters. Blood and marriage are not the only ways to protect a friendship like ours. You were my first real friend in this world, and I will not let anything come between us.”
Augusta reached out and squeezed my hand. “Thank you, Estelle. Because I cannot endure my first Season without you. Promise me you will be there.”
My birthday was in September, and I would be gone by then. I swallowed. “I will not abandon you. I promise.” It was not a lie, but it was only a half-truth. How many of those would I make before my time here was through?
The door creaked open and Atlas entered. I sucked in my breath. He had not left yet. “Miss Lewis, may I speak with you?”
Augusta and I shared a look.
“He’s come to apologize!” she whispered.
I dared not respond. I crossed to the opposite side of the room, our shoulders nearly touching the shelves to the side of us. “Forgive me for interrupting your lessons. Do you have a moment?”
I forced a smile. “I am here, aren’t I?”
“Yes.” He blew out a shaky breath. “I, uh, wanted to tell you about my business. It will take me to my cottage hospital,” he said. “I know it’s not far from here, but I want to make certain it has everything it needs. No one else can know where I am going. I’m not ready to tell my mother yet.”
And yet he told me of his plans? What did it mean? Augusta watched us from her chair by the window, but I did not think she could hear us. “I understand. Will we be able to finish our talk soon?”
“When I return. I know I confused you, and I am sorry for it. I just wanted to tell you that before I left.”
Must he be so sweet and vague at the same time? I wanted him to reach for me and tell me that everything would work out. His hands, however, stayed by his side. His eyes lacked warmth too, and I could feel him distancing himself from me.
I did not want him to leave yet. Not like this. “Thank you for the bedtime fare last night.”
“You’re welcome.” He rubbed the back of his neck, giving absolutely no sign that he wanted to kiss me again like I had imagined his gift of bread had represented.
Still, I persisted in delaying his departure. “I hope you find the cottage hospital in a good state.”
“Thank you.”
He leaned back on his heel to leave, so I blurted, “And please . . . don’t stay away too long.”
He stared at me. Just stared. My desperate words had taken him aback. Oh, I was an idiot. But idiot or not, the smallest spark lit in his eyes. Whether it was admiration or attraction or plain amusement, I did not care. Because at that moment, I had his complete attention.
And it must have gone to my head.
“I plan to go riding soon,” I blurted next. “I know you would hate to miss such a memorable moment.” Riding? Me? Oh, mercy. Did I really say that?
The corners of his mouth lifted almost imperceptibly. “Iwouldhate to miss that.”
I smiled too. “I will try to be patient, but you know how I yearn to be in the saddle.”
“Yes. Like you yearn to swim.”
He had me there.
