His smile grew. “I suppose I will have to expedite my business, won’t I?” He seemed to search my eyes for my true feelings, and I hoped he saw them. I did not care about his past. His remorse was proof that he had changed. I could see it, so why couldn’t he?
“I believe it is imperative you hurry then,” I said. “Just to be safe.” I clenched my hands together in my skirt. When he returned, I would have to tell himmy secrets, for better or worse. Regardless, I missed him already.
I thought I had overcome my fear of being left behind by the people I love, but it suddenly surfaced again with vengeance. My parents had left me. Reginald had left. Mr. Long . . . well, admittedly, I had been the one to leave him. I wasn’t supposed to have attached myself to Atlas for those fears to return. He had traveled a few times before, but this time seemed to matter so much more. I was afraid he was taking a part of my heart with him, and I did not know what he planned to do with it. I reached for the seam of my gloves.
He stepped sideways, blocking Augusta’s view of me, and picked up my right hand. With gentle fingers he carefully and methodicallystraightened, not just the outer seam, but each individual finger and the three seams that decorated the back of my hand.
“Speaking about my past proved harder than I imagined. I need time to clear my mind.” His eyes met mine. “Will you wait for me?”
My breath hitched. How could he imagine otherwise?
“I will wait as long as it takes.”
His gaze seared mine, saying everything his mouth did not. Finally, he lifted my hand his lips and pressed a kiss just above the top of my glove, warming my skin. Then he exchanged my right hand for the left, straightening the seams on that glove too.
I watched, completely mesmerized, his head bent in concentration so near my own. I caught his scent, a hint of bergamot soap and a masculine musk completely his own. My heart trilled when he lifted my second hand to his lips, this kiss lasting several beats longer. Gooseflesh erupted down my arms and legs.
I would wait an eternity for him if I had to.
And I hoped he would do the same for me when he learned my secret.
Atlas whispered his goodbye, and I let him go with a small smile and my chin up. I found my way to my seat and realized Augusta was watching me and frowning deeply.
“I cannot pretend to know much about courtship, but it did not look like that apology went well.”
In some ways she was right. He was still leaving, and I was still a liar.
My confident chin began to wobble. “Augusta, I must speak to you about a particular matter.”
Concern painted over her expression. “What’s wrong? You must tell me.”
“Everything.” My voice pitched high and tears threatened. I wanted to explain to Atlas first, but I sorely needed to share my burdens withsomeone in the meantime. Augusta deserved to be that someone. She deserved the truth.
Augusta covered her mouth with her hand. “Did you break off the courtship? Is this about your stranger?”
I shook my head, guilt climbing my limbs and threatening to drown me. I kept my back straight, and I clasped my hands tightly in my lap. “It’s about my lies.”
Augusta sat back in her seat, her brow stitching together. “What?”
I plowed ahead, aching to unburden myself. “Last fall, my brother sent me a letter.” Augusta knew that my parents had died and that I had an estranged brother, but nothing more. “It was most vexing. He had engaged me to his friend without telling me. And worse, he did not even give me the man’s name or situation.”
“You’re joking.”
“I wish I was.”
Augusta leaned closer. “What happened?”
“I had always done exactly as I was asked to do, but I could not do this. I could not marry this man. So . . . I ran away.”
Augusta’s eyes bulged. “You ran?”
I nodded, afraid she would think the worst of me.
“What does that mean exactly?” she asked warily. “You ran to your room? To your neighbor’s house? To hide in a field somewhere?”
I looked down at my clasped hands in my lap, remembering Atlas’s touch. My secrets did not merit his attention. Swallowing, I continued. “I took a train to London, where I advertised for a governess position. I changed my name so my brother would not find me and have been hiding from him ever since. It’s imperative that I return on my birthday to receive my inheritance.” I blew out my breath.
It was done.
