Not many.
So for as long as you keep your dreams to yourself, work behind closed doors and not have a single person know your plans, there is no one to try and get in your way.
It’s why we don’t kiss and tell on our birthday, right? Blow out a candle while wishing for something, you don’t turn around and tell everyone your wish. It’s foryouto know. Foryouto hold on to. Foryouto achieve.
“Okay, so what are we going to wish for?” he asks, making it obvious that we have to share a lantern. It’s what all the couples do to reduce waste and make it less harmful for the environment. I mean, we probably shouldn’t be lighting even justonelantern, but reducing the amount is better than having double of it. And this tradition does happen to be very important to all of us…
I shrug because I have no idea. “You write something down on one side, and I’ll do the same on the other side,” I suggest. “But no peeking, alright?”
Aaron smirks, then presses his lips into a rather thin line. “No peeking.”
He goes first, taking a whole two minutes to write on his side of the unlit lantern before handing it over to me.
I stare at the blank side, not knowing what to wish for. I mean, Iknowwhat to wish for, I’m just unsure of actually writing it down. If I write down yet another wish for Aaron, and he sees it, things between us could get awkward. So I have to make it less obvious… write way smaller than usual and put as many words as possible to reduce the risk of Aaron reading this.
Hi there, universe, me again. I’m not quite sure what’s standing on the other side of this lantern, but whatever it is, I need you to make it come true. This is the first and last time the guy who’s written on there will be here. He only gets one shot at this, wishing for things on a lantern in Germany, I mean. Or maybe not. Who even knows? But he won’t be here with me next year to make another wish. And, you see, he’s one of the most important people in my life, despite me knowing he won’t be there for forever. I’ve wished a lot of good things for him the past couple of years, so now I’m asking you topleasemake his wish come true.
Should be good enough, right? Or is it too obvious?
Honestly, I’m not even sure why I care so much about Aaron potentially reading this. So then he finds out I want what’s best for him. Big deal. It doesn’t automatically mean that I want to be in a committed relationship with him. Though Idowant to be in a relationship with him, but he doesn’t know that. And from a simple “I hope he does well”, I highly doubt he would ever be able to tell.
“That’s a very long wish,” Aaron teases after a while. “You’ve been writing for like an eternity.”
“I haven’t.”Two minutes, max.
As soon as our wishes are written down, my father suddenly approaches us. He’s looking all kinds of loving toward my fake boyfriend, but completely ignores my existence. As he would most of the time so we wouldn’t start yelling at one another.
He handsmyjacket to Aaron like he truly doesn’t see me around. I’m not going to lie, it kind of stings. Yes, I barely ever talk to my own father, only if necessary… but he doesn’t have to act like I don’t exist, does he?
“Don’t catch a cold, son,” he says, nodding at Aaron. Finally, my father looks at me, but the tension between us as our eyes lock seems to thicken with every second he stands there. The corner of his mouths twitch like he’s wanting to speak but simply doesn’t know what to say to me.
Until he does seem to find a couple of words. “Don’t get too drunk tonight, Sofia.”
“And what if I do?” Because I tend to get drunk every single year on this day. It’s easier than to deal with an internal war.
Icould have been one of those girls. Fuck, I could have been in Nika’s place. The other girls were injured and disturbed, and yet they have absolutely no recollection of their memories from the days they’ve been gone. I’d rather not think about what could have happened to me if I stayed with them, and I can’t help but feel guilty for getting out of it all unharmed.
It was one tiny decision I’ve made. Listening to what my father said, despite being majorly pissed at him for not letting me stay out with my friends. If I had disobeyed…
“Do youalwayshave to do the exact opposite of what I say?”
“I do,” I answer. “Do youalwayshave to try and tell me what to do?”
He shakes his head disbelievingly, letting out a soft, painfilled sigh. “I really tried with you, Sofia. I’m sorry I messed up with you so badly.”
And just as fast as my father has made his way over to Aaron and me, he leaves again.
I want to scream. An anger-filled scream. Something loud and powerful enough to erase all the madness from my heart.
Why can’t I be nice to my own father? Just for once.
“You need help?” Aaron asks as he hands me my jacket. To be honest, I expected him to ask about the way I spoke to my father, but he doesn’t. The Aaron I knew would have jumped at the next best opportunity to find out, but this one simply ignores it.For now.
“Please.” If it weren’t for the huge lantern in my hands, I could take off Aaron’s jacket and slip mine on all by myself. Well, I suppose I could also just hand the lantern to Aaron for a minute, but where would be the fun in that?
Slowly, Aaron removes one sleeve after the other. The freezing air hits me instantly, making goosebumps appear on my skin. I don’t dislike the cold, which should be quite obvious given that I normally spend six days of the week in an ice rink, skating, and I happen to think I have quite the tolerance for what I find is cold and what isn’t. Although I get the chills whenever I enter the rink, I still don’t like the feeling of it. Don’t think I ever will.
Once the jacket’s off, I’m quick to slip into my own—of course, with Aaron’s help. And just when he successfully put his own jacket back on, we’re being told to light the lanterns and prep them for takeoff.
