Her breath caught in her throat as he reached out and his warm, long fingers curled around her wrist. His thumb pressed against her pulse, and she wondered if he could feel it racing. He stared at her and moved close, so close that the warmth of his breath brushed her cheeks. The world started to tilt, and she was losing herself again.
“Not in the slightest?” he asked in a breathy whisper. His lips were parted, and they leaned into her, tempting and tormenting in equal measure. The air suddenly became hot, and her skin prickled. Her chest rose sharply. Her heart felt as though it was going to explode out of her chest.
“You should not be hiding in the library, not after your performance tonight. Everyone wants to speak to you afterthat bold shot. You are a daring woman, Rose, and I admire that. Perhaps if things were different… perhaps thingscanbe different, if only for a moment.”
There was a yearning quality to his voice that left her quite unsteady. The pressure on her wrist increased. He pulled her closer, and it was as though the world placed her on a slope and she was inexorably sliding toward him, unable to stop. It seemed as though they were going to kiss, and there was nothing she could do about it. There was a haze in her mind, and she lost all of her senses, but perhaps she could be bold and daring. Perhaps she could throw caution to the wind just this once and take something that should have been forbidden…
…Until voices passed by the library and they immediately shook Rose out of this mad stupor. She pulled her hand away from Edmund. The book dropped to the floor, but she did not dare linger to pick it up.
She stared at him, unable to form any words.
She left the room, although she could not leave her feelings behind.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Edmund took a deep breath to compose himself. He picked up the book Rose had dropped and snapped it shut, placing it back on the shelf. He wore a surly expression, annoyed with himself for letting the situation get the better of him, for lettingherget the better of him. She might have thought he was toying with her, but actually, his feelings were genuine.
By the time he left the library, Rose was nowhere to be seen. He smiled falteringly at people who passed by, although as the party wore on, it was getting harder and harder to wear his mask of cordiality. Rose tasked him and muddled his mind. She continually surprised him, most recently with her display during Pall Mall.
“Edmund,” Alfred came rushing up to him. He looked panicked, tired, weary. “We must speak.”
“Alfred, I am afraid I cannot at the moment. I have matters to which I must attend.”
“You must attend tome,” Alfred said. He was usually an amiable fellow who went along with most things, so when he became insistent, it was in a noteworthy manner. Edmund took a breath and then acquiesced, leading Alfred into a nearby sitting room. They were alone.
“You must share your plan with the rest of the family,” Alfred said in a hushed voice. At least he still respected Edmund’s wish for secrecy, Edmund supposed.
“You know I cannot do that. They will only fuss and try to convince me to stay. I wish to leave without any announcement, slipping away like a thief in the night.”
“Then you are placing me in an impossible position. I am grateful that you trusted me to look after your business affairs, but Mary can sense there is something I am not telling her. I cannot go on like this. I swore to honor her, and that vow is the most solemn one I have ever made.”
“You must,” Edmund said forcefully. “Just for a little while longer, until Lydia is betrothed. Then you can reveal everything.”
For a moment, Edmund thought Alfred was going to do as he asked, but then Alfred took a breath and shook his head. He squared his shoulders and looked Edmund in the eye.
“No. I am sorry Edmund, but I cannot do this for you. I have come to think of you as a brother, but Mary is my wife, and I cannot hide this from her, especially not when she is frettingso. My promise to her supersedes any promise I make to you. If you ever gave serious thought to marriage then you might understand. I will ask her to keep this secret, but I cannot guarantee it. I am sorry if you feel that I have betrayed you in this matter,” Alfred said, then strode out of the room.
Edmund called out to him before he left.
“Alfred, I don’t feel that way. I am proud to know a man like you, and I am glad that you found Mary. You are a good man, a far better man than I. I wish I had your integrity,” he said.
Alfred inclined his head, then left the room.
Edmund followed shortly after and found some champagne, hoping that it would dull his senses. A few people came up to him and commented on Rose’s performance during the game.
“I have never known anyone to make a shot like that. It’s clear to me why she was so worthy of that price. I must say that it seems like a bargain now,” Lord Gavlinson said.
“She always was,” Edmund replied with a grin, although there was tension in his eyes, and when he closed his mouth, he gritted his teeth. The more people praised Rose effusively, the more he kept thinking about her and how she sparked something inside him—something he just couldn’t understand. He walked away and strolled down a corridor without thinking, until something caught his eye.
It was a portrait of his parents, commissioned shortly after their marriage. The artist had somehow managed to imbue his parents’ emotion into the painting as Edmund could sense the happiness they felt.
It was just a shame it was so short-lived.
“What is the point of it all when it never lasts?” he muttered to himself. “You showed me nothing but lies.”
The house party was due to end the following day.
On the final night, Edmund had arranged for a ball. There would be dancing, loud music, and plenty of food and drink to go around. The mood was jubilant, as it had been for most of the party, though it was not reflected in the host.
