“Goddamn it, Zayne, what the fuck?” he demands, slamming the door behind him.
“I fucking know!” my voice is harsh and loud as I turn to look at him feeling the last of her fade away. My hands are balled into fists, and a tear runs down my cheek, the only one I let slip as I try to catch my breath slow my racing heart.
The look on Knox's face turns from anger to confusion.
“What happened?” he asks in a softer tone.
“I…” I pause for a second, trying to understand it myself.
But I think I already knew, from the first time in the elevator, and the first time I touched her. The craving, the obsession, needing her close. How can you love someone so hard and so fast with only a few words spoken between you? It’s a cruel twist of fate I would find her.
The light to my dark.
The binding within my void.
My soulmate.
I just let her slip away. No, I forced her away, so she won’t suffer the same fate of this destruction festering beneath the surface within me. A secret I can’t tell, a past I’m not proud of. I can’t talk to anyone about this now. Not even Knox.
There’s too much riding on the mission to get rid of Jasper once and for all. We can’t be distracted. There’s too much at stake in both realms.
“I kissed her,” I said softly, not giving him any more detail as I let the numbness take over, consuming me.
“Ok, it’s no secret there’s chemistry between you two,” Knox says.
“It’s complicated,” I say, defeated.
“So, uncomplicate it,” he demands.
“I can’t. Look, Knox, there’s just too much riding on this mission. We can’t get involved.” I try to force myself to believe that, but fail.
“Yet,” he says, smiling.
“I’m not right for her,” I say, choking down the lie.
“She deserves better,” I walk over to my mini bar and pouring a brandy for myself.
“Oh, please, who are you kidding here, yourself? I just watched you unhinge before me. So what exactly has you freaking out?” he asks.
I stare down at the liquor and swirl it around. I hesitate because I don’t know what to say.
“Let me ask you one question,” he continues. “Did you feel anything when you kissed her?”
Knox has been like a brother to me, my confidant, and lying to him is just something I can’t do.
Bringing the glass to my lips I let the alcohol slide down my throat.
“Everything. I felt everything,” I say, looking up at him.
“See,” Knox says. “I mean, when you meet the right one, you meet the right one.” He smiles at me, but I can’t return the gesture. God, if I ever voiced my current thoughts about Myssa and Jasper found out he would use that. And I can’t lose any more people. He’s already taken so much from me.
It’s as if the light bulb comes on in Knox’s head as he finally puts it together.
His eyes light up, as a grin slides across his face. “She's your?—”
“Knox” I cut in, “This can never get out. As Originals, we’re already privy to information we shouldn’t know, but Jasper can’t get wind of this. He will use her to get to me. He will manipulate her and take advantage. I can’t have that. Right now, protecting her from him, and from me, is all I can concentrate on.” But this feeling is so strong, and I’m torn. I wish I could hide us somewhere, anywhere he can’t find us.
“Ok,” he says, sighing. “But, damn, man.”
