“No.” He walked up to me slowly. “You don’t get to decide what’s fair for me. You don’t get to protect me by walking away like none of this matters. Like we don’t matter.”
My chin quivered. “I heard you, Caleb. I heard you say it’s stressful, and I caused that, Caleb. I caused your stress. Ethan doesn’t let go. He won’t. I tried to get away for a long time and I couldn’t. He hurt me when I tried. If he comes here, if he tries something to hurt you because you’re protecting me...”
“Then I’ll be ready.” He stepped closer. “Rae, I don’t care how crazy it gets. What you heard me say about stress was...Yes, I am stressed. However, it’s because I want you to feel safe. I don’t know how to fix this for you, the girl I love, and that’s all I want to do. Besides the things we do know, we can’t prove that he’s involved in everything that has happened, and that is stressful.”
“Exactly, and what if that never ends?” Tears were flowing steadily now.
“It will.” He held his finger up to tell me to hold on a minute, when I tried to argue again. “But if it doesn’t, then that is okay with me, too. I don’t care if I have to look over my shoulder for the rest of my life. What I do care about is you. I care that you're safe, that you feel safe. I will fight for you, for us, until he is no longer tormenting you. When the next hurdles come, I will fight for usthen, too.”
“But I don’t want to ruin your life,” I choked.
“You’re not ruining it.” His hand found mine. “You’re the best damn thing that’s happened to me in a long time.”
My gaze fell from his eyes to our hands, then the floor. He stepped in again, this time lifting my chin with the gentlest touch. “Look at me.”
I did.
“I want you here,” he said. “Even with the hard stuff. Even when it’s messy. I want every piece of you, Rae. Not just the sunshine. I want the storm, too.”
Tears welled again in my eyes. “You don’t have to say that.”
“I know I don’t.” His thumb brushed my cheek. “But I mean it. You stay here. With me. No more talk about leaving. Please. I can’t lose you again.”
My breath caught at the sound of his voice cracking.
“I need you to believe,” he added, voice low and steady, “that loving you isn't a burden. It's a choice I'm making every day. And I’m not going anywhere.”
My chest felt like it cracked open under the weight of his words. My whole body trembled as I stepped into his arms, leaning my head against his shoulder. His arms came around me like they always did: strong, warm, safe.
The fear that had been holding its grip on me loosened a bit, letting me breathe, in the safety of his arms.
Chapter 49
Rae
Acouple of days passedwith nothing from Ethan. There had been no calls or texts, and none of the officers at the department had seen him around. I didn’t know if that made me more nervous or relieved. Caleb and I were sitting outside on the porch so I could enjoy the sunshine while he put up the cameras he’d ordered. I’d chosen to sit on the porch steps, and Duke joined me, laying his head in my lap.
