Driving back down the highway, Tessa keeps her eyes on the road, but I have mine on her. I’m staring unabashedly, taking in the straight line of her nose, the curve of her jaw, the fullness of her lips. I do it because I can.
“Fitz, stop looking at me,” she says, finally.
But I don’t. In fact, I double down by grabbing her hand.
“I’m looking at the view.”
She turns her head quickly and meets my eyes. Caught. “You were not.”
“You’re prettier than the view.” I tuck a tendril of hair behind her ear so I can see her better and take in the freckles that dust her cheeks.
She shakes her head, and I’m pretty sure there’s an eye roll I can’t quite see. “Why are you trying to sweet-talk me? You already got me pregnant. You’re stuck with me.”
I don’t catch what’s on the sign as we turn down a shaded road. I’m still focused on Tessa and the fantasy that won’t stop playing in my head—the two of us doing this full-time, her moving up to her ranch when the renovations are done, moving in with me once the baby comes.
“I really loved that,” I tell her. “You picked the perfect way to introduce me to LA.” I’m tempted to say more. Tempted to broach the subject of any kind of future other than what we agreed on months ago because I can’t come up with a solution that makes sense.
She laughs. “Well, it was kind of a cheat. That was about the most un-LA thing I could find for us to do. The rest of living here involves traffic, loads of people, and some pretty rude behavior, honestly. But I love it. Can’t imagine living any other way.”
I pull my eyes away from her profile and look out the window, where the road we’re on ends in a beach parking lot. This is the place she loves, not Willow Springs. Our co-parenting plan is there for a reason: to make sure we know the terms we agreed to and don’t deviate from them.
Now I can see a sign on the small restaurant in the parking lot. Paradise Cove. Sure looks like it based on the unobstructed view of sand and waves. “Let me guess. This is another in-LA thing you cooked up because I’m not a city boy.” I wonder if she chose activities she thought I could handle because she thinks I can’t hack it here.
“Actually, the beach is a very LA thing. I just thought you’d think it was pretty. Later, we’re gonna use the stuff you brought to bake some cookies at my house. Good, clean fun.”
She’s timed it perfectly. The sun is minutes from setting, hanging just above the horizon line. The sky is all kinds of orange and blue, with high pink clouds and endless miles of blue water.
We linger on the sand, soaking in the sunset, enjoying the quiet of being present together as waves pound the shore in rhythmic procession. I tug her against my side, and she folds into me like she belongs there. She does.
“Dutchess…”
She lifts her eyes questioningly. My answer is the kind kiss I’ve been thinking about since I got here, deep and tender, leaving no doubt about how much I want her. I take her face in my hands and show her how much I appreciate the afternoon she planned and how much I love having her in my life.
It’s not friendly, and it doesn’t fit our rules, but I don’t second-guess myself, and she doesn’t resist.
“I know I’m making it more complicated,” I say, apologetic about my mixed signals.
She shushes me. “It’s okay. Just kiss me again. We’ll figure the rest out later.”
I don’t need more coaxing. I give her a kiss befitting a beautiful sunset and a beautiful woman who’s found her way deep inside my heart.
When my self-restraint returns, we break the kiss. Slowly, regretfully, at least on my part. But I don’t know where else to go from here.
CHAPTER 26
Tessa
Seven and a HalfMonths Pregnant
I hearthe panic in Fitz's voice, and it makes me panic.
“What's wrong?” I ask.
“I know you're coming to Loveland this afternoon. Any chance that's soon?”
I smile at my efficiency because I’ve already filed all my briefs, and I’ve been on the road for an hour. But the urgency in his voice worries me.
“As a matter of fact, I’ll be there before four. Why? You don’t sound good.”
