I do. See his face in the mirror across the room. See the rage and pain and something darker underneath.
"Watch yourself get fucked by the man you betrayed." He increases the pace. "Watch yourself love every second of it."
I can't look away. Can see my face—tear-streaked, desperate, completely wrecked. Can see him behind me, muscles straining, jaw clenched, taking out every ounce of fury on my body.
"Lev! I'm going to—"
"No, you're not." He stops completely. Pulls out. Leaves me empty and aching. "You don't get to come until I say so."
A sob tears from my throat. "Please!"
"Beg better than that." He flips me onto my back. Grabs my thighs. Spreads them wide. "Beg me like you mean it."
"Please, Lev. Please let me come. I need it. Need you. I'll do anything—"
"Anything?" His eyes glitter dangerously. "Would you leave Mila without saying goodbye? Would you disappear tonight if I asked?"
The question is a test. A trap.
"No." The truth. "I can't do that to her. Can't leave without explaining."
"Wrong answer." He slams back into me. Sets a brutal pace that makes me see stars. "Try again. Tell me the truth, why can’t you leave?"
"I—I don't know what you want me to say!"
"The truth." He leans down and pins my wrists above my head. "Tell me the fucking truth for once in your life."
"I love you!" It explodes out of me. "That is my truth. I love you and I'm terrified and I don't want to leave and I know I don't deserve to stay but I'm begging you—please don't make me go—"
He goes completely still. Buried deep inside me. Eyes locked on mine.
The silence stretches.
Then he moves. Slow, deep strokes that hit different now. Not punishment. Something else.
"Say it again." His voice is rough.
"I love you." Tears streaming down my face. "I love you, Lev. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for everything—"
His mouth crashes to mine. Swallows the apologies. Kisses me like he's drowning and I'm air.
When he breaks away, his forehead rests against mine. "I should kill you for this. For making me feel this. For making me want you despite everything."
"I know."
"But I can't." The confession sounds like it's being torn from him. "Can't kill you. Can't let you go. Can't do anything except keep you here and hate myself for it."
He starts moving again. Faster now. Chasing release.
"Come." The command is rough. "Come for me, Valerie. Show me who you belong to."
I shatter. The orgasm rips through me so hard I scream his name. Clench around him. Feel him follow immediately after, buried deep, coming with a Russian curse, fingers digging into my hips hard enough to bruise.
We collapse together. Both gasping. Both trembling. Both completely wrecked.
He stays inside me. Wraps his arms around me like he can't let go.
"This changes nothing." His voice is muffled against my neck. "Patrick is still out there. The threat is still real. You still betrayed me."
