‘Yeah?’
‘When you saw the photo of Clara’s engagement, did a part of you wish it was you? Asking her to marry you, I mean?’
My answer is immediate and honest.
‘Absolutely not.’
I’m surprised by how much I know this to be true even though when we were together I had allowed myself to wonder if we might get married one day. I clear my throat and look at Ellie. She’s studying me closely. ‘It’s funny how your feelings for someone can change so quickly. I’m not saying I’m not shocked that she’s getting married now, of course I am, but you know what? Seeing that picture made me realise that I am completely over her. I’ve known it the whole time but … I dunno. I guess seeing that photo has cemented it. But, fuck, Ellie, I feel like such a dick for how things are playing out now. It’s obvious how much I like Alice but that scares me.’
‘Why?’ She asks, concern etched across her face.
‘Because I don’t want to feel like a fool again.’
‘You aren’t a fool, Zach. Being vulnerable isn’t foolish. It’s just a part of loving someone and unfortunately, the last person you fell for took advantage of that. That doesn’t mean that history will repeat itself and it certainly doesn’t mean you should stop trying. It sounds to me like you’re simply upset to have found out about Clara, which is understandable. So you know what you have to do now, right?’
I shake my head.
‘Go get your woman.’
Ikea
Alice
If I thought perusing the bread section of my corner shop would take my mind off things, I was wrong. There’s only one loaf left for a start. (Wholemeal, as if I need that in my life right now.) Even small talk with the guy behind the till can’t stop me from thinking about the abrupt ending of our Happy Hour date earlier this evening. Zach and I would probably be out for dinner by now, if only he hadn’t been so preoccupied with whatever it was. I think giving him some space was the right thing to do, I just hope he’s okay. As I unlock my front door and I’m immediately hit by the smell of a thousand scented candles.
‘Home so soon?’ Natalie asks.
‘Zach was a bit off so I’m going to make cheese on toast for dinner. I’d offer you some but I’ve a hunch you might be going out?’ I say, taking in the fact my best friend is currently striding around in her bra and pants while my living room has been turned into a mood-lit walk-in wardrobe.
‘Sorry to hear that, hot stuff. Want to talk about it?’
I shake my head. ‘What I’d really like to do is help you get ready. This looks fun.’
‘Good because I cannot decide what to wear. Dylan was right, it’s time to launch myself back out there and I now intend to date all the eligible men of Sheffield. I’m quite excited about this guy,’ she says, wriggling out of the jeans and top combo she’d just rejected while I rifle through her impressive selection of hairbands. ‘He’s very cuteandwe’re going for ramen.’
‘How about this then?’ I ask, handing her a band T-shirt and leather skirt. ‘Sort of cool and cute all rolled into one?’
As Natalie pulls the outfit on I run upstairs to grab my make-up bag. ‘I follow this amazing make-up artist on Instagram who does incredible things with eyeliner. Shall we watch one of her videos while I try it on you?’
‘Obviously yes,’ Nat says, sitting down obediently as I walk back into the room.
I grab my phone to set up our tutorial.
Oh.
‘You okay?’ She asks.
‘Just got a message from Zach. I’ll read it later.’
‘Nice try, but you should read it now,’ she commands.
I open the message and read it. ‘He’s apologising for being off with me. Says he wants to explain things in person and is asking if he can come round.’
‘Well I’m heading off soon. Sounds like he has something important to tell you.’
‘It does, doesn’t it?’ I say, full of curiosity and concern.
When Nat’s fully made up and looking divine, she gives me a squeeze and says: ‘I’ll keep my phone on so if you need me, call me, okay?’
