‘It’s taken guts for Zach to tell you this. I think he’s been really brave.’
‘Maybe. It’s a great big red flag though, isn’t it? He was dating someone who was already in a relationship! Regardless of what she told him, it’s not great. And what’s weird is I really liked Clara when I met her. She and James seemed like such a sweet couple.’
‘Just goes to show that none of us have any clue what’s going on behind the scenes, hun. Relationships are complex and hard, sometimes. And yes, it’s a red flag for Zach but you’d been getting so many green flags from him, too. The way he’s been honest with you about the whole thing is a big green flag, right? So maybe this is just a bump in the road.’
I pause to take a bite out of my cardamom snurr as we walk.
‘This is so annoying. Why am I even worried? I should have got myself out of this situation ages ago because that’s what I do, right? But you’re right, there have been lots of green flags from him. He has been honest about his ex. He’s been incredibly sensitive about my mum. He makes me feel like I can be my whole self around him. He’s kind, he’s thoughtful, he makes me laugh. The butterflies in my stomach when we’re together …’ I pause, realising I could go on and on.
Natalie is grinning at me.
‘Shut up.’
‘Didn’t say anything,’ she says, her smile getting wider.
I roll my eyes. ‘So, yeah, there are lots and lots of positives. But because of all the good things I’ve started developing … bloody …feelingsfor him and look where I am now! Panicking! What’s happening to me?’
‘What’s happening is that you like him and that’s new for you. I know you built up this wall after your mum died, but it’s about time that wall came down, and this is what happens when you meet someone. Everyone has their own baggage, you know.’
I sniff, cradling the takeaway cup in one hand and my pastry in the other. Sugar and coffee will be my saviours.
Nat insists on a morning pamper session to take my mind off things and I definitely feel much calmer now I’ve smoothed a leave-in conditioner through my hair, while my best friend applies a clay face mask.
‘I haven’t asked how last night’s date was?’ I say, feeling guilty.
‘Let’s just say that the ramen and my outfit where the highlights.’
‘That bad, huh?’
‘He was just boring, that’s all,’ she says. ‘It’s nice to be back out there, though.’
‘You’re kicking heartbreak right in the nuts, Nat. I’m proud of you.’
She shrugs.
‘Seriously. From now on I’m going to call you Bounce because of how well you’re bouncing back from this. I don’t want to spend all morning talking about men because obviously we’ve got more pressing items on the agenda, like our plans to conquer the world …’
‘Or where we’re going on our next holiday …’ Nat adds.
‘Or whether we should move to New Zealand because they seem to have it sorted over there …’ I suggest.
‘Or if we should eat lasagne or pappardelle for dinner …’
I snort. ‘See! So much to discuss. But if I may just briefly go back to men again, I did want to ask how you are finding dating post-Jake?’
Natalie’s mask is crusting over like a salt-baked cod so she tries to talk without moving her lips. ‘It is a bit weird, but only because it’s all so new still. Sometimes I find myself thinking how much I’d like to go back to what Jake and I had but honestly Al, I think that’s because our relationship had turned into a habit. What I really miss is the comfort of knowing what was going to happen, if that makes sense? Having everything planned out felt safe. But I feel like I’ve adjusted to my new normal pretty quickly. You can’t pick and choose when life-changing things happen to you.’
I’d fallen quiet as I listened to my best friend and notice now that she’s trying to wiggle her eyebrows but it’s not very easy with a mud crust all over her face so she ends up nodding her head up and down instead. ‘In case you can’t tell, this is my this-story-is-relevant-to-you-too face,’ she says.
‘You can’t pick and choose when life-changing things happen to you?’ I repeat.
‘Exactly. I know you’re worried that you and Zach hooked up too quickly after his last relationship but you don’t get to decide the perfect time to meet someone new. Especially when that person is a glorious ray of sunshine called Alice. It took guts for him to tell you all that and I bet he’s worried you’ll …’
‘Do not say bolt.’
She presses her lips closed.
‘So … will you?’
