‘That sounds like a very wise idea,’ I say, relieved. Work, I can do.
Working alongside my best friend is just the tonic I need. After the weekend’s debrief we’ve spent our evenings getting our heads together, brainstorming ideas for the brand and working on a website.
I’m sifting through photos on my computer, looking at all the weddings I’ve worked on and pulling out my favourite pictures to use on the new website when Natalie sits down opposite me, pushing a plate of spaghetti bolognese in my direction.
‘What would I do without you?’ I smile, twirling some onto my fork.
‘Possibly be suffering from some kind of nutrient deficiency,’ she suggests. ‘I’ve seen the amount of instant noodle packets in the bin this week, Al. What would your mum say?’
‘She would not be thrilled.’
‘Exactly. It’s all very well throwing yourself into our new venture but you are going to have to face up to things at some point. Have you heard from Zach?’
I shake my head. ‘He hasn’t messaged but I did made it brutally clear that we were over.’
‘But is that what you actually want? Because it seems to me like you’re pretending to be all right when deep down, you care way more about this than you’re letting on. I’ve seen you checking your phone and staring off into space.’
‘I think I’m just really confused,’ I admit. ‘I ought to feel relieved that it’s over but the truth is, I don’t. I liked Zach and I miss him. I feel like I’m grieving for what we had together and if I let myself dwell on it I feel sad and cross and not in very good headspace at all.’
‘So you’re just going to paper over the cracks by working even harder than usual?’
I shrug, dusting some parmesan onto my food.
‘We’ve spent all our spare time planning and working on the new business. I know I need a break so why don’t we go out tonight?’
I shovel hot forkfuls of pasta into my mouth, surprised at how hungry I am.
‘Tonight?’ I say eventually.
‘Yes,’ she says, polishing off some salad.
‘Tonight was meant to be my next date with Zach.’
‘All the more reason to get you out of the house, then,’ Nat replies, clearing our dishes away.
‘I got some Mr Kiplings on the way home earlier …’
‘Oh no you don’t. You’re not binning me off in preference of a couple of cherry bakewells, babes. Come on!’
Dismayed, I cast one last look at my outfit before finding myself being bundled out of the door.
Natalie is clearly trying to torture me. She’s dragged me to the exact pub I’d planned to meet Zach at for what would have been our Q date. The only difference is that I am wearing an extremely baggy old man’s jumper pulled over the same T-shirt with the hole in I’ve been wearing all week, rather than a cute date outfit. I’ve made the hole even bigger now. Oh, and did I mention that my lewk is completed by a pair of leggings?
I take a sip of unspecified white wine and resolve not to let myself feel too despondent about the situation. Just push those emotions down! That’s definitely the best way to deal with things, I think as I grab a quiz sheet.
‘How about Cool Story, Brew?’ I ask. ‘For a team name.’
‘Why don’t you ask him?’ Nat’s nodding behind me and I spin round.
Zach’s here.
His hair’s wet from the rain and he’s walking towards our table. Where I am sat.
Zach.
My heart starts to beat quicker and my brain fires out questions so quickly that I struggle to keep up with them.Am I happy to see him?Yes.Why am I happy to see him HAVE I NOT LEARNED MY LESSON YET?Shrugs.Why am I dressed like I’ve just got out of bed?That’s not important right now.
‘Hi,’ he says nervously, looking at me through thick, dark lashes. ‘I didn’t know if you’d want to see me or not. I can go, if you’d prefer?’
