Or the one before.
Or the one before that… Well, you get the picture.
Courtesy of my narcissistic sociopath of a mother, I have serious abandonment, trust and self-esteem issues.
Awesome combination, I know.
I’ve never had enough confidence to think I’m good enough for any man who shows me any sort of affection. Every time a guy says the L word or hints at a committing long term relationship, I panic. Literally, have a panic attack, break the guy’s heart and run.
At the same time, I’m afraid of being alone. That’s why I tend to attract a shitload of douchebags and stay with them to fill the void.
So here I am, a pathetic, heart-breaking slut, living in a small apartment in L.A., unable to keep a single decent guy, uncertain about everything in life.
Viktor—a Russian drummer and not exactly a douche, but I’m sure he’ll show his true colors eventually—is still asleep, and the feel of his bare skin against mine is electric. I rub against him like a cat for the sheer selfish pleasure of it. I watch him slowly wake up, the sunlight providing a view I haven’t gotten to enjoy in the dark last night.
He’s even more handsome in the early morning, if that’s even possible. All man. Rugged, rough, disheveled, incredibly muscular and sexy. Dark stubble shadows his strong jaw. I brush against it, the gruff texture of his face scratching me deliciously. I wanna stay in bed with him all day long.
Unfortunately, I can’t. I have to go to work. Give it my hundred and ten percent so I won’t bring down thirty years of Dad’s hard work and destroy his company, like my beautiful, perfect devil bitch mother keeps telling me.
And I know if Viktor and I get started again this morning, we’ll never stop.
I untangle my naked body from his limbs, and he moans in protest. I look over my shoulder at him as I sit on the edge of the bed. He opens his eyes, and smiles a lazy, morning smile that would melt the panties off of me if I was wearing any.
I wrap the sheets loosely around my front. My eyes trail down to his naked, hard cock and then back to his smile. My pussy clenches, but I spin to get to the bathroom.
He pulls me down, his lips capturing mine. I let him, even though I know I shouldn’t. And when he pushes the sheets from my body, and his kisses trail down to my breasts and find their way between my thighs, I let him do that too.
“I have much more important things to do,” I say between moans.
He grunts in my pussy, his hands firm on my ass.
My fingers dig in his dark blond hair, burying him inside my wetness. “You have…stuff to do too, you know?”
As if he hasn’t heard me, his eyes lift to mine as his tongue flicks my clit.
I tilt my head back, lost in this moment of irresponsible pleasure. Then I see the clock. “Jesus, Vik. I really have to go to work.” I yank myself out of his grip and run into the bathroom.
Pinning my hair up, I turn on the water and adjust the temperature. It doesn’t take him long to walk in, though, his eyes smoldering with desire.
Fuck.
Without saying a word, he crushes his lips into mine, catching me off guard with a long, passionate kiss.
I can’t focus on anything work-related anymore, just the feel of his tongue sliding against mine. The feel of his hands running up and down my sides.
Shutting my eyes, I moan as he presses me against the bathroom wall with his hips, as he gently bites down on my bottom lip.
Need shoots right through my core, melting every thought of leaving right out of my head.
I open my eyes when his mouth briefly leaves mine for breath. I try to speak, but he covers my lips with his again, kissing me even harder than before.
His huge erection pokes my stomach as he whispers words I can’t understand. His palm slides down my stomach and lower.
“Ahhhh…Viktor.” I clutch at his ass, and his thumb presses against my soaking clit. He rubs it in a slow and tortuous rhythm. “Fuck...”
He silences me with another bite of my bottom lip. I look into his eyes as he slips a long finger deep inside of me.
“Wait...” I manage. “Wait...”
