Baz?
Bazwatchedthescreenturn black.He clutched his phone against his chest and curled into a tiny ball under the blanket on his way-too-big bed.
Maybe this time, he would wake up without a knife in his heart.
Chapter twenty-five
Thedarkmonstrositythatwas the courthouse towered over Baz like a storm cloud, threatening to swallow him whole.The scraps of a torn rainbow flag flapped in the gust of wind that froze Baz to the core.
Happy Pride month his ass.
This was it, what he had worked toward for half his life.Gaining class certification today would basically guarantee his promotion.His dream had never been so close.So why did he feel like he was standing at the edge of River Styx instead?
He met Aya’s questioning look with his best performance of a smile.Who knew, Sami might not even be here today.Not like he was a lawyer on the case.Maybe he had realized Baz wasn’t playing his game anymore and given up.
“After you, first chair.”Aya gestured toward the door.
Baz took a deep breath, willed the oxygen to kickstart his lawyer brain.Winning was all that mattered.He would figure it out with Sami once this wasn’t hanging over their heads anymore.If there were to be a ‘him and Sami’ after all this.If there ever had been… Baz shook his head.Those were exactly the kind of thoughts he needed to lock away.He would.
He nodded at Aya.They marched inside.
The cool, dry air scratched at the back of his throat as he queued for the security check.Heavy footsteps echoed across the white-gray tiles, competing with the beeping of the bag scanners as the only noise in the high-ceilinged foyer; a stark contrast to the noisy chatter that filled the hallway behind it.Baz kept his head down as they walked to their assigned courtroom with thirty minutes to spare.
Vanessa Martinez had to be around already.They should find her for some last-minute prep—
“There they are.”Ian’s voice tensed his shoulders.“Sebastian and his ethnic girlfriend.”
Jesus Christ.How did Aya manage to resist kneeing Ian in the crotch when he said shit like that?Baz couldn’t deal with him, not today.Not without a judge present to hold him in contempt for his idiocy.
He appeared to be by himself; no sign of those dark curls Baz missed twirling around his finger.
It’s for the better,Baz screamed at the howling pit in his stomach.
“Last chance to take that settlement,” Ian said, as if Baz were stupid to decline his insulting offer.As if Ian’s client wouldn’t be the one suffering from bad publicity if this dragged on.
“Isn’t there a baby somewhere you have to make cry?”Baz deadpanned.
Ian huffed as much of a grin as a face frozen by Botox could manage.The skin around his eyes crinkled like plastic under the strain.“A sense of humor.Who would have thought?”
Baz pressed his lips shut.Finally, Ian took the hint, turned away—and there was Sami.Baz’s heart stopped.
“The file you wanted,” Sami said, placing a half-full binder onto Ian’s forearm.He was clean-shaven, like the day they had met.Such an uncomfortably unfamiliar sight.And then, those hazel eyes pierced through Baz.
All the air got sucked out of the hallway, sounds ceased, time and space froze in an endless vacuum.
Sami’s lips parted.Pain etched into his soft features, pain that had Baz’s heart screaming to pull Sami into his arms already, shield him from whatever was haunting him.Baz squeezed his hands into fists instead.
Sami looked away.His curls bounced with every rushed step toward the bathroom.
Baz forced himself to breathe; his lungs ached for more, for better than mere air.Sami’s cologne, the sweetness of his breath.Anything that reminded him why life was worth living.
What if he was wrong again, and Sami was actually on his side?If this were nothing but a misunderstanding—god,let it be a misunderstanding—they ought to sort it.Right?
“Bad idea,” Aya hissed.Baz hadn’t realized he had taken two steps away from her already.
“What about this isn’t?”Really, what did he have to lose, still?They already weren’t speaking.
He had been a coward for dodging this conversation, and a fool for thinking he could ignore Sami.The elephant was too big to fit inside the courtroom.He couldn’t spend the whole hearing wondering.
