“Yeah.Stupid, I know, but I was young and needed the money.”No sign of humor betrayed the sincerity of Sami’s words.
“It was only, what, two years ago?”
“In case you haven’t realized, I’m still young.”
“What did you need the money for?”
Sami shrugged.“Oh, you know.Textbooks.Food.My mom’s hospital bill from when she fractured her wrist.Insurance didn’t cover it, and the debt collectors came knocking at my parent’s door.”
Oh.Oh, god.Sami had just been trying to help out his family, and Baz had treated him like crap for it.Sami had literally told him he was missing context the night at the bar, and Baz… The sharp stab of shame lodged into his chest like a knife.
“Sami, I’m so—”
“Don’t.”Sami drew the knees to his chest, his gaze vacant.“I take full accountability for what I did, and I can’t blame you for holding that against me.Trust me, I do too.But I’d do it again in a heartbeat to help the people I love.If that means you hate me even more—”
“No!”Baz couldn’t fathom the thought.He wasn’t sure he had ever really hated Sami—only how much he wanted him when he shouldn’t.“I don’t hate you.Iamsorry for judging you without knowing better.I should have listened when you told me there was more to the story.”
“Well, I didn’t exactly volunteer the details either.”
“You shouldn’t have had to for me to treat you with respect.”
“It’s okay.I get why that triggered you now.And I enjoy proving people wrong.”A soft smile played around his lips.He lay down on Baz’s chest; the heat of his body rushed through Baz.He hugged Sami tight.
“I’m still sorry.I know it doesn’t make it better, but that night in the bar, I just had a fight with Eevee about our dad, and all I knew was that you’re working for Ian—”
Sami silenced him with a quick kiss.“It’s okay, honey.We all have bad days.To be honest, it only made me want you more.”
Baz huffed.“You’re such a masochist.”
“Guess I am.But so are you.”
Hard to deny that when he had been eating out of Sami’s hand since day one.Now, he saw crystal clear why.
There was something addictive about Sami’s directness, his honesty in every rude, challenging remark.Baz never had to pretend, never had to twist himself to impress him.He could just be himself, the worst version of himself no less, and Sami was okay with that.Didn’t try to change him, didn’t once make him feel like who he was wasn’t good enough.Baz had never experienced that kind of safety with another person before.
“The world isn’t quite so black and white after all, is it?”Sami said.
Oh, how ignorant Sami must have thought him.Hell, he had been.
“I guess not.”
“So… since you misjudged me, is it possible you’ve misjudged your dad too?”
“How could you say that?!”That was a fundamentally different, way less ambiguous situation.He knew exactly what Jack had done.He hadlivedthrough it.He tried to sit up, but Sami’s weight kept him pinned to the mattress.
“I’m not saying you did!Just… people are complex.Everyone sucks sometimes.There is no excuse for what he did to you and your sister after you lost your mother, but he also lost his wife.That couldn’t have been easy either.”
That was assuming Jack had loved her, which he hadn’t.He had barely been around the months before her passing.She might still be alive if he had cared about her as much as Baz and Eevee had—well.That hadn’t saved her life either.But they had just been kids with their own crises going on.They’d had no grasp of how much she had suffered!Jack had been the adult, and he had given up on her.
Hadn’t he?
After all, theyhadjustbeen kids.As an adult, Baz could see why two hormonal teenagers weren’t Jack’s go-to confidants at the time.Assuming Jack thought like Baz did might be giving him too much credit, but he supposed it could be possible he had misread his parents’ relationship.
Admittedly, he had never looked back, never thought to reconsider what he thought to be true.Jack hadn’t given him a reason to.What if Eevee was right about him having changed?
“Anyway.I should, you know…” Sami pressed a kiss onto his cheek and scooted out of bed.
Panic struck Baz.“Where are you going?”
