“What?”
“Does this mean I have to like… come out to Miles?”
My face darkened, but I fixed it. “Eventually, yeah—”
“Do you think that’ll, like, mess with the seating chart? I don’t think we’re sitting together. I’m sure Miles will want us to. Do you think a month and a half is enough time to redo it? Willyour parents care if I sit with you? Or like, would you wanna sit with me and Tyler and the boys? You know them, so—"
“Finn.” He was spiraling. “I doubt Bree would appreciate us stealing any thunder before the wedding. Let’s wait until after.” I cleared my throat. “Besides, it’s kinda hot sneaking around, isn’t it?”
His shoulders fell. “True. I can see her face when she hears, and it’s not pretty.” Finn laughed too hard again. “Itiskinda fun sneaking around, yeah.”
I gave him a broad smile. “Let’s eat. The snails are getting cold, and the beef is getting warm,” I said.
Finn tried his first escargot, and then some of the beef. Both were beyond amazing. But Finn was too. His reaction to things he’d never had before was more endearing than anything, ever. Big, goofy smile, a few whispered curse words, there was something magical in witnessing him experience a world he denied himself, without even knowing he was denying it.
It didn’t hit me until I was holding him in my arms as he drifted to sleep, that I’d also been denying myself. Finn would see it, experience it, and live it with me, too. I just hoped we could handle the finding out, or really, I could, for both our sakes.
Chapter Fourteen
Finn
Iwas driving my boyfriend to pick up our suits for the wedding. Boyfriend. I still couldn’t believe it. Even a month and a half later, six whole goddamn weeks, and just thinking that word still gave me a rush, while saying it out loud gave me a semi. No offense to Miles, but Ryder was my number one male, and I was hoping he would be for a very long time.
I also couldn’t believe the wedding was only a week away. Or that Ryder had two Saturdays off in a row. Though I knew he had taken the whole next weekend off months ago, including the Friday before the wedding. That Saturday was just the luck of the scheduling draw.
I wished I had more time with him, but that was what dating a young doctor was like. It’s corny as fuck to say, but I valued each minute we had. Just being in his company sent tingles up my spine and vibrations in my stomach. What a fucking thrill to glance at my passenger seat, see Ryder fuckingBeckett smiling, holding my hand, and knowing that man is myboyfriend.Jesus fucking Christ.
“What?” Ryder asked after I returned my attention to the road.
“Nothing.” I couldn’t help but smile.
“Not nothing. Spill it.”
“You’re just handsome.”
“Careful.” He squeezed my hand. “That kinda talk will get you into trouble.”
“What kinda trouble?”
“Oh, I dunno. Several kinds, really.” I glanced over to catch his smirk. “Most of which end up with you having a sore butt.”
It wasn’t even funny, but I laughed. “You can make my butt sore wheneveryou want, Ry.”
Ryder laughed, too, and squeezed my hand tighter. “Will do.”
Was that what it was like to be with someone you had feelings for? Both in my chest and pants? It was easy and exciting. I’d never felt so light in my whole life. There was nothing to overthink, because it all just made sense with him.
“You have such a way of putting things. What’s that called?” I said.
“Eloquent?”
“I was gonna say total perv. But yeah. That.”
“Jackass.” He laughed and shoved me. Our hands stayed locked, and he rested his head on my shoulder after.
Ryder didn’t do things like that often, though it had become more common since dinner at that French place. He was always the one to provide comfort, direction, or guidance. When he did things like rest his head on my shoulder or curl up to me as the little spoon, it made my body freak out. Such a deep sense of contentment, while every nerve ending was on fire. Iwas more alive with him in the laziest of settings than I had ever been in my life.
When he lifted his head, I said, “What do you think of the suit he picked?”
