“Yeah. Yeah. No, I’m okay. Just thinking.”
“Thinking or spiraling?”
“Just thinking.”
“You sure?” His smile was warm, but a little accusatory. “You haven’t even taken a bite yet.”
I relaxed into my chair. He was right. “Maybe a little,” I said with an awkward chuckle.
“About what?” He put his half-eaten burger down.
“How fucked up it was for me to take you there. I should’ve said I was sick or something. I’m sorry.”
He laughed. “I wanted to go. You offered not to, but I needed to see if I could get a refund. Miles Venmo’d me the money as soon as we left the shop, so we’re good.”
My throat got tight. I couldn’t stand it, but I couldn’t stand not knowing what I couldn’t stand even more. “No, man, not all good. Or, you’re not good. Or shouldn’t be. That was so fucked up. I’m so sorry he’s treating you that way. It makes me feel like shit.”
“It shouldn’t makeyoufeel like shit.” He chuckled, then pulled back. Ryder gave me a sad smile and said, “Look, Bree and I don’t get along. I’m not surprised it happened. I didn’t think I was gonna be in the wedding, anyway. Not after he told me I wasn’t the best man anymore. I even called him on the wayto get my suit fitted, like, if I’m not in it, now’s the time to tell me. But he paid me back, so it is what it is.”
“That’s so fucked, man. Seriously. How are you so calm about it? Aren’t you pissed? Or hurt?”
Ryder laughed loud. “Of fucking course I’m pissed. How could I not be? And hurt too. But there’s nothing I can do about it. It’s her wedding, and she’s gonna be his wife. If they don’t want me to dress in the same costume as the other guys, walk down the aisle, and take a bunch of pictures, then whatever. At the end of the day, that’s all it is, right? It’ll be more fun for me as a guest, anyway. I’m still gonna have a good time.”
“I’m pretty sure I’m gonna tell him I’m out. They can both fuck right off.”
He settled back in his chair. “Don’t do that. Don’t even bring it up. It’s a week away, and he already sounds stressed as fuck. Can you imagine getting married to her? Poor guy’s on his last nerve. I feel bad for yelling at him on the phone.”
“You’re taking this way better than I would. I’d go full scorched earth.”
“I’m used to it.” He took a bite of his burger and spoke with his mouth full. “It is—”
“I swear to god if you sayit is what it isone more time, I’m gonna smash that burger in your face.”
Ryder laughed so hard that he choked. Before he recovered, I continued. “What do you mean, you’re used to it? Used to what? Your brother being a piece of shit? I didn’t know he could be like that, and I thought I knew everything about him.”
Ryder swallowed. “No, man. I meant… You were there when I came out. You know fucked up shit rolls off my back.”
I had no idea what the fuck he was talking about, and my face screwed up in confusion. His coming out? From my perspective, it was nothing but smooth. Especially consideringwe were in high school. His parents embraced him. His friends were cool about it. It went so well, and things went back to normal so quickly that I used to forget it had happened at all.
But… no. If he said something happened, then it must have. Maybe I was so dense even back then that I missed it?
I shook my head. “I’m sorry, Ry, but I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
His brow tilted, and he put his burger down again. “When I came out, and all that shit happened with the team?”
“I… don’t know.” I shook my head again. “Sorry.”
“Huh,” he said, and went quiet for a second. Then, “You really don’t remember?”
“Nope.”
“Seriously, for real?”
“No, man. But I’d like it if you told me.”
He stared at me for a beat, then looked away, blinking. “Jesus. Haven’t told this story in years. If it jogs your memory, please stop me.”
“Yup.”
