“Fuck, man.” I took a steadying breath. “They’re really fucking good people.”
“I think I’ll keep ‘em.” He chuckled again.
“How were they not ready to beat those assholes in the face when all that shit happened with your team?”
“They were. They wanted to sue. Dad wanted to confront their fathers in public like he was some tough guy. We had several very teen-angsty screaming matches about it. But I didn’t want to make waves. Just not worth it. It is—”
“—what it is,” I said. “So you’re just gonna take it, again? Let your brother treat you like shit?”
Ryder’s smile slipped away. “It’s not the same thing. And, itiswhat it is. She’s gonna be the mother of my nieces and nephews. If I want to be in their life, I gotta go along to get along.”
“Fuck, man. That’s so, so fucked up.”
“I know it is.” Ryder’s voice and face finally matched what I guessed he was feeling inside.
I surprised myself by reaching across the table and holding his hand, the urge to comfort him trumping any discomfort I might’ve had about being seen like that in public.
“I promise, if it’s ever in my power, I’ll never let you feel like that ever again,” I said.
Ryder smiled with half his face. When he spoke, his voice was tight. “Thanks, Finn. That means more than you know.”
Chapter Fifteen
Ryder
My parents’ place, where I grew up, was on a quiet, tree-lined street in a middle-to upper-middle-class neighborhood. It was the kind of house too old to be called a McMansion, with a pool and a large finished basement. It could, and historically had, accommodated many people for holidays, birthdays, graduations, any celebration with a long guest list. My dad’s fiftieth was a huge bash stretched over an entire weekend, but even then, it never felt cramped. Crowded, yes, but not suffocating.
It was fucking claustrophobic the night of the stag party.
The aunts, uncles, and cousins were there, along with Miles’s assorted friends, but for some reason, so was Bree, and her terrible cohort. The only one absent was Finn.
I knew Finn would be late due to an unavoidable meeting. I wasn't worried, but I missed him.
I can’t even say it was strange, feeling misfit in my family’s home without him. I had learned to walk in those halls. Use the potty, throw a football, shave, drive, and deal with shitty people within those walls. Yet, that night, without Finn there, Iwas an outsider. No, not really, not an outsider, that’s dramatic. But I was uncomfortable, and I fucking missed my fucking boyfriend.
It started before I even walked in the door. Miles greeted me on the driveway. I wasn't going to hug him, but he crashed into me anyway.
“Hey, man. Thanks for coming,” he said, embracing my stiff, disengaged body.
“Yup.”
When Miles let me go, he said, “Hey, uh,” without meeting my eye. “I haven't had a chance to tell Mom and Dad yet about the party numbers. Just uh,” he looked at me, “mind not saying anything until I do?”
The lights got brighter, and my lungs filled with the sweet sting of our parents’ late summer landscaping. Had I bitten my tongue, it would’ve needed to be reattached.
“Yup.”
Miles shrank an inch, shoulders falling along with his eyes. “Thanks, man. Seriously appreciate that. For fucking real.”
I had every intention of saying hello to my extended family, then finding Lena and hanging with her until Finn got there. But I wasn’t able to. I walked in the door to Bree’s shining, beautiful smile.
Bree was, of course, wearing white in a knee-length skirt with a midriff-baring spaghetti-strap lace top. Even her phone, always clutched in hand, was white and lacy. Her flowing blonde waves reached the bottom of her shoulder blades. I think the makeup she wore was called natural or some shit, as if she wasn’t wearing any when it was caked on. Not that she needed it, she was stunning.
She hugged me hard and tight, tighter than her fiancé, and pulled me off into the empty dining room. Her free handstayed on my bicep as she spoke, rubbing it up and down, like consoling a sad puppy.
“Thanks for coming! I know Miles really appreciates it.”
“Yeah, of course,” I said, trying hard not to sound flat or pissed off.
