Chapter Thirty-Three
Sunday 15th December
Ashleigh – The Baxters’ Christmas Farm
Ashleigh was one tired and hungover elf.
She’d explained about the hen do to Terry and Julie when they commented on her wan appearance when she turned up to work the next day, and they took pity on her and posted her outside the enchanted forest attraction. They really were lovely bosses to work for.
All she had to do was hand out different glasses to the families – those red and green plastic film ones that made all the twinkly lights appear like little snowmen or Santas – and then let them into the “forest”, which was a big, dark room packed from wall to wall with artificial Christmas trees. There was a path winding through it, and every tree glittered with simple plain lights. In some special spots there were woodland creatures set up like something out ofWind in the Willows. Then Ash could just collect the glasses again once the families came out.
It was probably one of the easiest jobs, but also the most boring, so it let her mind wander. To things like how she had almost confessed to having been infatuated with Olivier since she was a teenager. In her defence it had been approaching three o’clock in the morning and she’d drunk alot. But still. Thank God she’d stopped herself.
That would have been a wonderful thing to inform a man who was still clearly bruised from his marriage. He would want to move slowly – not be informed that whenever he’d left before she’d spent the next couple of months composing terrible poetry in her diary about how much she missed him. Even if it had been her choice not to call him the last time.
And was she going to make that choice again this time, to protect herself? Now that she knew he liked her, and she’d allowed herself the tiniest bit of hope? Where did hoping usually get her?
She winced. Two of the other elves who were manning the small gift shop were talking unnecessarily loudly. She didn’t want to hear the ins and the outs of their latest audition, or how the other one knew so-and-so at the National and was going to pull strings for them. She’d tried so hard to be part of that world but it just didn’t fit her. Now she was just floating around, not really fitting in anywhere.
Ash decided that when her mum finally bothered to call her, she was going to tell her. She was going to cut that pathetic, frayed thread that she’d been kidding herself was a bond between them – because it wasn’t. What was the worst that would happen? Her mum would stop calling? Ha. At least this way, there would be no pretending anymore. If her mum genuinely wanted a relationship with her, it would be a real one, based on who Ash truly was and what she was interested in.
The thought was instantly freeing. And then it was terrifying. But it was time.
As the clock finally inched around to one, Ashleigh handed her glasses over to the elf taking her place so she could go on lunch break and jogged up the hill to the area where all the food stalls were. The repetitive jingle of her socks brought attention from the kids waiting in lines at each of the activities and she waved at them, smiling widely. Food was imminent; being cheerful wasn’t nearly so hard now and her lunch token was nestled in her pocket ready for something greasy and full of carbohydrates. One of those big salty pretzels? Bit dry. Waffles with lashings of bananas and chocolate sauce? Too sweet, so maybe not.
Her eyes fell upon the cabin in the corner, on the other side of one of the big log fire pits. Roast dinners folded up in massive Yorkshire puddings. Yes. Perfect. But did they do a vegetarian version? Yes! Sliced nut roast instead of cuts of meat to join the vegetables and potatoes and soaked with a vegetable gravy.
Ashleigh queued up, her stomach tying itself in knots at the gorgeous smells. She took the cardboard tray and wooden cutlery with thanks and scanned the area for a seat. Over by the fire pit with her back towards her was a familiar-looking elf, sitting on her own. Ashleigh felt a stirring of guilt. She’d made out to Selina that they would meet up another time, but between their differing shifts, the Christmas lights, the wedding dress and Nan’s fall, she’d barely spoken to her.
That habit of not bothering to make friends with the other workers because they’d all go their separate ways made her feel a little mean-spirited now.
‘Room for a very hungry elf?’ Ash asked before sitting down.
Selina looked up and smiled so widely, that Ash felt another helping of guilt. Selina seemed to genuinely like her. Or at least, she liked having someone be friendly to her. Even if they weren’t going to stay in touch, what was this going to cost Ash really? And she was getting company too – it wasn’t a one-sided deal. Selina came across as sweet and she wasn’t up her own backside like some of the cliquey drama students.
‘Yeah.’ Selina moved along the wooden bench. ‘Wow. Do you really think you’re going to be able to eat all that?’
‘And probably go back for seconds. A very “elfy” lunch, eh?’ Selina sniggered and Ash sat down next to her, digging into the Yorkshire pudding, steam and the aroma of vegetables wafting up, and she cut it open. ‘My friend’s hen do was last night. I got about three hours’ sleep.’
Selina picked at her couscous salad that she must have brought from home and asked her all about the hen do, listening to Ash describe the after-party at Olivier’s too.
‘That sounds nice. People do that in my dorms a lot.’
‘Don’t you go along and join in?’
Selina shrugged and gave a thin smile. ‘I don’t get invited. There aren’t many girls on my degree course and I just haven’t clicked with the ones who are.’
‘You don’t like the boys?’
‘Well, some of them are friendly, but I’d be nervous being the only girl in a room full of drunk men, y’know?’
‘God, yeah, true.’ Ash swallowed over a big potato and took a sip of water. ‘Are some of your friends from college and school going to come home from their unis for Christmas?’
‘Yeah, but I’m not going back to my dad’s. We don’t really get on. I’d prefer to be on my own down here than arguing with him up there.’ She twisted her fork over and over.
‘I’m sorry.’ Ash’s shoulders dropped. She’d felt lonely at the start of the evening yesterday – looking at all the friends and family gathered for Beth and comparing it to the small number in her life. But the friends she did have were wonderful. And, of course, she had her nan, even if they didn’t always see eye to eye. ‘Maybe you could come to us for Christmas Day?’
Selina looked at her with wide eyes. ‘What? Really?’
