‘Oh, I won’t intrude on you much longer—’
‘That wasn’t what I was getting at. You’re welcome here for as long as you need – you know that.’
‘Thank you.’ She flushed though. She knew she had to figure out what she was going to do. She was unemployed again, although technically she hadn’t handed in her notice. But what was she going to do? Pursue more work in the movie industry? Going away for weeks at a time with another bunch of strangers who would hear down the grapevine what happened, wasn’t exactly conducive to her getting over her anxieties. Especially now she knew how everyone had to live in each other’s pockets. That was part of the reason she’d got to know Rowan so well, so quickly she supposed—
God, she wished she could stop thinking of Rowan and everything they’d talked about, every other minute. But it was like they’d cut straight to the roots of all the things they’d both grown from, so anything she thought about or talked about, it was all connected to things she’d unearthed with him.
And the thing she wanted, most of all, was to have that back. But it had to come from her – she couldn’t rely on another person being her soulmate, or a really understanding long-lost member of her family. She had to learn to be brave and true to who she was, to not care about what people thought about that. To put herself out there.
‘I would like to do it,’ she said, suddenly. ‘I’ve been trying to do it on my own, but it’s clearly not been going so well. I’m not sure I could afford it though – not until I’m working again.’
‘I’d happily pay for it—’
‘No.’ She raised her voice and shook her head. ‘You couldn’t. I couldn’t ask that—’
‘You could think of it as twenty-five years’ worth of birthday and Christmas presents. I reckon I’d be getting off lightly that way.’
‘No. That’s so kind, but you’re already doing enough for me.’
‘Well, the offer stands. And maybe I can show you some of the books I got on CBT, so you can see if there’s anything that would help. Just as a first step.’
‘That sounds like a good idea. Thank you.’
He nodded, as though satisfied, and then did a double take towards the balcony doors as Noelle came through them. Her red hair was pulled up in a ponytail that had gone lopsided in the night, and she was wearing an NYU T-shirt with shorts as her pyjamas, the top catching over her small bump. ‘You’ve made me into a liar,’ he said. ‘I said you wouldn’t be seen out of bed before 10am.’
‘I have regularly been seen out of bed before 10am over the last few months, Stephen Cartwright, as you well know,’ she said grumpily, rubbing her eye, ‘to go hang out with my buddy the toilet, whilst I puked up my guts, thanks to this baby you knocked me up with.’
Stephen’s smile dropped and he leaned over, taking her hand as she dropped it from her eye. ‘I’m sorry. Are you feeling rough? I thought that stage had passed.’
Noelle huffed – she really wasnota morning person – and squeezed his hand back. ‘I’m okay. It’s not morning sickness. I’m hungry. Absolutely starving. Like, I’m surprised I didn’t wake up having eaten half the pillow.’
‘Okay,thatI can do something about. What do you want for breakfast?’ Stephen stood up, stroking Noelle’s messy hair back gently.
‘Pancakes, but…’
‘But?’
‘I want ones like you get at home. A big stack with maple syrup and bacon.’
‘I can do maple syrup and bacon.’
‘Yeah…but British ones are flat. They’re like crepes – it’s not the same.’
‘I’ll make them,’ Lila volunteered. ‘If you like, I mean. I don’t want to muscle in on your kitchen.’
‘That would be a-mazing.’ Noelle turned to her with a huge smile on her face.
‘Well, you haven’t tried them yet.’ Immediately the pressure of delivering on her offer hit her.
‘I’m sure they’ll be better than my “flat ones”,’ Stephen rolled his eyes. ‘Why don’t you go have your shower, Noelle, while Lila shows me how to make them for future reference.’
‘Perfect.’ Noelle tiptoed up to kiss Stephen and then turned and blew Lila a kiss too. ‘Thank goodness you’re here.’
Lila smiled back and thought she had to agree. Thank goodness she was here, and they were helping her.
Rowan
By the afternoon, more news had begun to circle about him – Cassandra probably getting some more mileage with her victim act. He’d been for a swim that morning and his phone had blown up with messages on his WhatsApp groups with a million questions from his old castmates, some genuinely concerned, some he knew were just being nosy.
