If he could mute his name from people’s actual real-life conversations that would have been a cool feature. Lila would probably have appreciated that too.
He didn’t bother to answer anyone. It would be like throwing more rocks in a rippling pond, and it all disguised the one thing that actually mattered to him. He decided to read through the outline Wesley had emailed him and try to pretend that the future didn’t feel like a massive black hole.
He didn’t realise he’d been staring at the same page, blankly, until a knock at the door roused him. He tugged his T-shirt into place as he went down the short, cool hallway and opened the arched door to find his mum standing outside. ‘Mum? What are you doing here?’
‘Coming to visit my son, obviously. Are you going to let me in?’
‘Of course.’ He reached for her bag and dragged it inside. She bustled in, looking full of the energy which he – thirty years younger than her – should have possessed. ‘What would you have done if I was on set today?’
‘I’m sure I could have entertained myself, down on the beach or at one of those little restaurants.’ She pushed her sunglasses back into her hair. ‘I did send you messages about it anyway. Why haven’t you been checking your phone? What’s going on with you? You look awful.’
‘Thanks, Mum.’ He rolled his eyes, trying to make light of it and wheeled her suitcase farther in. ‘You know I don’t actually have a spare room here so—’
He stopped as she put her hand on his arm. ‘Come here.’ She pulled him into a hug, and it crossed his mind what Lila had said about being so tall now, he was never the one who was hugged. But he had felt hugged when she put her arms around him and he felt it now, despite his mum being so small. It was all about intention. Not size. ‘What are they doing to you out here?’
‘The film isn’t the problem. In fact, the film is about the only thing that’s going well.’
‘Are you sure? We heard about this thing with Stan Gillian. What happened? I can’t imagine you throwing a hissy fit…’ She paused as she followed him into the kitchen and took a seat at the table. ‘No, forget I said that – of course I can. But not at work. You don’t act like that at work, do you?’
Her tone was allthat’s not how I raised youand it made him laugh a little. ‘Well, actually.’ Her eyebrows rose and he shook his head and turned to fill up the kettle. ‘I don’t make a habit of behaving like that, but Ididrefuse to work with him. For a good reason. He touched up one of the makeup assistants.’
‘Oh God. Disgusting old pervert. Is she okay?’
‘Yeah, I think so.’
‘Good, good.’ His mum sighed. ‘Well, there goes another back catalogue of films I can no longer enjoy. Why are there so many sex pests in the film industry?’
‘Beats me. Because they’ve got away with it for so long, I guess.’
‘Well,youdidn’t let him get away with it this time. Well done, Rowan. I’m proud of you.’
He managed a wan smile and flicked the kettle on, turning around to lean against the counter and face her. ‘It might mean it becomes hard for me to get bigger roles again. He’s a very influential man in Hollywood and he doesn’t like me much. After this…work could be scarce.’
‘And that’s worrying you?’
‘A bit. More for what it means for all of us.’
She shook her head. ‘I don’t follow.’
‘I won’t be earning as much. I might have to ease back a bit on the luxuries for us all.’
She stared at him for a moment. ‘Rowan, it’s not your responsibility to look after us.’
‘I like to.’
‘I know that, son, but what are we talking about here? Have you spent everything you earned? Am I going to need to clear the sewing machine out of my spare room?’
‘No. No way.’
‘Then you can afford to see yourself through a fallow season?’
‘Yeah. But what about—’
She tutted. ‘You bought me a house and a car. You bought Siobhan a house and a car. That’s more than enough. We both work. We’re big girls; we can look after ourselves. The only thing that will upset us is if we see you struggling…so, what else is bothering you?’
He’d known his family felt that way, but it was good to hear it, all the same. A tiny bit of the weight lifted from his chest, but it wasn’t enough to make it easy for him to answer the question. He cleared his throat. ‘Don’t you want to get settled in first? You’ve had a long journey.’
‘I’m fine. Sit down. I came here to find out what’s going on with you.’ She patted the table in front of her and he obliged, taking the chair opposite.
