02/09/26 11:16 Fern: I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to shit comfortably again.
10/09/26 13:02 Fern: Still on for tonight? You’re topping.
25/09/26 15:34 Fern: Think I’m getting sick. Dunno if I’ll be going to karaoke later.
25/09/26 16:27 Fern: False alarm. Turns out I just needed to take a massive dump.
04/10/26 15:10 Fern: I think Gadget might know something about us.
04/10/26 15:11 Fern: He said something about Halloween and asked if I wanted to invite Megs or make sure she doesn’t know about it.
04/10/26 17:47 Fern: Okay, he definitely knows something. He just said “no judgement” to me. I don’t know if he knows it’s you or if he thinks it’s a random girl.
19/10/26 11:16 Fern: Do you want to do a couple’s costume this year? I was thinking about going asTom Daley. I’ve got some “wet-look” hair gel, a Team GB Speedo, and some knitting, but we could do something together.
04/11/26 16:25 Fern: OMG look what they sell in Tesco. Pomelos!!!!!!!!!
25/12/26 07:13 Fern: Merry Christmas loser. Kinda wish you were here right now.
01/01/27 01:11 Fern: I’m so drunk. I miss you.
15/01/27 14:48 Fern: Come to mine tonight? Megs is staying with her mum.
THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN DELETED
14/02/27 10:12 Fern: Happy Valentine’s Day, you big prick. Remember last year? ;)
24/02/27 11:30 Fern: Have you RSVPed to Gadget yet? We were supposed to let him know last month. Whoops.
10/03/27 19:39 Fern: Megs has gone to France to see her dad. We had a fight. I don’t need you to come over. I’m just letting you know.
14/03/27 23:24 Fern: Not saying I’ve been drinking alone, but sometimes I wish we weren’t teammates.
14/03/27 23:29 Fern: Would you hate me if I transferred to Bristol?
28/03/27 12:13 Fern: Happy Easter. I cannot wait to see you again. I’ve got RSI from wanking so much.
Chapter 28
Aiden
Saturday 1st May 2027
It should have taken five minutes max to drive from Owen Bosley and Mathias Jones’s wedding ceremony to the reception venue. According to Google Maps, there’s one roadfrom Hookborough Town Hall to Mudford-upon-Hooke where the party’s being held. One road.
Five minutes has somehow turned into thirty, and a lovely, scenic, straightforward journey has become the most awkward half an hour of my life. Eggo is officially a terrible driver. How a person can get lost three times on a single A road with only a handful of junctions is beyond me. On top of that, Georgia insisted on accompanying me as my plus-one and said we should pretend we’re still in love as ever, even though she hasn’t spoken to me since the cafe meet-up last month.
However, the cherry on the cake is a pissed as fuck Abs, who’s being dragged against his will to his ex-boyfriend’s mansion where the wedding breakfast will take place. He’s positioned himself on the back seat between Georgia and me, probably to stop us getting too coupley or kissy, but I’m eternally grateful for the buffer.
Just as she’d asked, I’ve told no one about our half breakup, not even Eggo. To rid myself of the temptation—of telling him or fucking him—I’ve simply avoided him. I’ve made excuses post-training to run off quickly, cancelled meet-ups, and even texted him the morning of our home game to say Trekkie had the shits all over my kitchen floor so I wouldn’t make the lice room that day.
But I have to tell him at some point. It’s eating me alive, and . . . I miss him.
I miss him so fucking much.
Abs and I have been hanging out a lot more recently, which is nice. It’s been fun, I guess. We’ve taken Trekkie to the park, we’ve had beers at his place, and we’ve gone to see a few live bands. It’s just that . . . Abs can be such a miserable fucker. Which is also fine. That’s who he is. I’ve known it since day one of our friendship, yet sometimes it all feels so meh, like I’m trapped in this vortex of mehness.
I love Georgia—or maybe I don’t any more—but this can’t go on as it is.
