Exactly the type of guy I desperately wanted to find and settle down with. He took away my ability to dislike him and without that, moving on would be hard.
I splashed cold water on my face for a few seconds and stared at myself in the mirror. Maybe I really did need to just leave. Go to Paris and see what happened. I certainly wasn’t finding my future here.
My phone buzzed with a text from Alex. He was downstairs.
Patting my face with the towel, I made sure I was presentable.
“I’m going,” I said as I left the bathroom.
I didn’t hear Trevor’s muffled answer as I rushed to get my keys and wallet. The image of Paris caught my eye again. I’d ask Alex if he thought a change in scenery would do me good.
I stepped outside, taking a deep breath to clear the last of my disappointment. Alex’s dark blue Audi sparkled, like he’d just had it washed. Knowing Alex, he probably had stopped at the carwash on the way over. I could see him in the driver’s seat,tapping away on his phone. He looked up as I neared, a warm smile spreading across his face.
“Morning, Nick!” he said as I opened the passenger door.
Alex always made me feel welcome. If he hadn’t been my grandparent’s friend for thirty years, I’d suspect he wanted to be my sugar daddy. Thankfully, that wasn’t the case. “Morning, Alex,”
I slid into the comfortable leather seat as the car drove away from my apartment. Alex looked over and smiled. “What do you feel like for breakfast?”
Some people ate when they were depressed, I lost my appetite. “Whatever you feel like. I’m not that hungry.”
We had this happen enough times in the last three years, that Alex knew what it meant. I expected the usual disappointment, instead he looked genuinely confused.
“Why are you surprised?” I asked before he could speak. “Haven’t we had this conversation a billion times already?”
Alex blinked and then made a sour face. “I’m always surprised there are so many blind, dumb, gay men in the world. You’re an amazing person. Funny, smart, handsome, great shape. They should be fighting to get you to notice them.”
I knew my friends meant well, but hearing those same words as many times as I had, they were wrong. Everyone else can’t be the problem. At some point I need to acknowledge Iwasn’tamazing and no one would be lucky to have me.
“Stop that,” Alex said, his voice sharper than usual. “There’s nothing wrong with you. Nothing! Finding someone you connect with isn’t easy. You can’t force it. It has to happen in its own way.”
Snarky me wanted to ask when he started to read minds, but we’d talk about this enough that he knew how my brain worked. It didn’t explain why he seemed so shocked it happened. “Fine, Ican’t rush things. Eventually someone will take pity on the troll. Happy?”
Alex shook his head. “No, I’m not. Henry sounded different from most of the other guys you told me about. I am surprised it went off the rails so fast.”
He and me both. “It did.”
He didn’t respond, but he checked behind us, and moved over to take the exit. None of our usual brunch spots were in that direction.
“Are we going someplace new?” I asked.
“Nope.” He took the exit and pointed us toward the interstate. “This calls for retail therapy. I believe you said you needed new running shoes.”
What he meant was Alex was going to buy me things hoping it would make me feel better. This time, however, even new running shoes weren’t going to help.
“Let’s go have brunch, as planned. I’ll eat something this time.”
Alex snorted and merged onto the highway. “You say that every time. This old man knows better. Besides, this gives us thirty minutes to talk about what happened.”
Normally, I’d have unpacked a lot of my feelings with Trevor, but I couldn’t because this involved Henry. Telling Alex felt like telling my grandparents. Some things were TMI.
The weight of disappointment, however, pressed down on me and I needed to tell someone I could trust. “Honestly, I’m not totally sure. We were having a good time until we weren’t. I suspect it had to do with seeing this,” I waved my hands over my torso, “naked.”
“He said that?”
“Of course he didn’t. But I’m not stupid. We got back from our run and I took off my shirt. He allegedly got a work calland after that, he changed. I’m betting it was his ex-boyfriend. Getting the call reminded him he could do better.”
The Nicholas pity party was in full swing now. This was how I handled rejection. I needed to get mad enough at Henry so I could forget him and move on. Normally it worked, but with Henry it hurt more.
