Instead of the usual sympathy, Alex laughed. Not a quick chuckle to let me know he found my retelling funny or quirky, but a full-on belly laugh that made his body shake.
I can’t remember being mad at Alex, but if we were at a traffic light, I’d have gotten out and walked home.
“I’m sorry, Nick, but that is one of the most ridiculous theories I’ve ever heard. If he wasn’t interested, he would’ve suggested you go home.”
The entire ride back from Frederick, I had the same thought. Henry could’ve made up a work excuse and we could’ve left after the phone call. There was, of course, an elephant in that room.
“He’s Trevor’s cousin. Henry might not want to date me, but he isn’t a total jerk. He made up some ridiculous story about not being honest about him and his family. Obviously he hoped I’d get mad and end it instead of him. I didn’t, of course, because I’m desperate for a boyfriend.”
“Wait,” Alex took his eyes off the road and we nearly drifted into the car in the next lane. “He said what?”
Henry’s story was so preposterous, Alex couldn’t believe it either. “He said there were things about him and his family he couldn’t tell me.”
Alex shook his head as if to shake away his confusion. “Let’s start at the beginning.”
I groaned. Whenever Alex got that tone, it meant I was going to be grilled. He had this uncanny ability to get into my head and tease out every last detail. I didn’t fancy reliving our trip, butAlex wouldn’t let go until he had all the facts. “He picked me up at my apartment around seven a.m.”
We’d almost made it to the Clarksburg outlets when Alex finally stopped mining for details. “And you think his confession at dinner, coupled with his refusal to get intimate add up to him dumping you?”
I knew this would end up awkward. “Intimate?” Who said that. Though if he’d said, “refused to fuck you,” I’d have jumped out the window.
“Henry and I spoke before I’d had anything to drink. He knew I wanted to get. . .intimate.His refusal had nothing to do with making sure I knew what I wanted.”
“You also said you hadn’t had anything to drink before he told you he was keeping secrets. He probably wanted to be sure you still felt the same way. Not wanting to take advantage of you when you’re drunk sounds like someone who planned to stick around a while and wanted your first time to be special.”
I’d spent half the night lying awake thinking about every possible scenario I could imagine, including what Alex suggested. I’d rejected it because it wasn’t true.
“When I asked Henry what was wrong, he said he wasn’t being honest with me. Once I’d told him it didn’t matter, it should have removed the weight off his back. It didn’t. He never returned to his old self.”
Alex didn’t respond immediately. The silence in the car was broken only by the GPS directing him to turn right at the next light. We continued into the parking lot and once we found a space, Alex put the car in park and turned to face me.
“I don’t know what Henry was thinking, and neither do you. We can guess and speculate, but until you speak to him we won’t know. To be clear, I do not want you to do anything you don’t feel one hundred percent comfortable with. I’m not trying to talk you into dating Henry, but from our conversations before you went to Frederick, I know you liked him. From everything you told me about your day, you still liked him up until he got a call and he changed for the worst.
“But asking to wait until you’re sober should not be seen as a rejection. Yes, Henry’s confession is odd, but you’re willingness to give him a chance wasn’t a cure all. Your first response was to say you were taking an Uber home. It’s perfectly normal for him to be cautious after that reaction. Not hooking up with you when you’re drunk seems to be in character for this young man. I know you’re gun shy when it comes to dating, but I think you jumped to the wrong conclusion.
“All that said, I’ll support whatever decision you make, but I really think you two need to talk. In my long life, I’ve found most disagreements can be solved by taking emotions out of the equation and having a conversation.”
Alex had never been shy about giving me his advice, but this took me by surprise. Usually, he told me to move on and I could do better. This was the first time he’d ever suggested I might have misinterpreted the situation.
My emotions have been zipping around like a pinball hitting a bumper. Alex meant well, and always gave good advice, but I needed to think about it before deciding.
“Let’s go shopping and we can talk about this on the ride home. How about we get pizza first. My treat.”
Alex smiled and nodded toward the stores. “Pizza sounds great, but you know the rule: you’re not paying for anything.”
Someday I planned to be secure enough to return the million and one favors I owed Alex. Until that day, I was still going to tryto pay. I hadn’t managed to get the cashier to take my credit card yet, but one day I’d win.
Henry
The antique clock on the mantel chimed as I entered my condo. What a difference twenty-four hours made. When I left there was such promise for the day. Now I had to figure out how to reach Nick again. The sun poured through my east facing windows and my stomach growled as if to remind me we skipped breakfast. The plan had never been to eat a lot – Nick had brunch with Alex when we got home – but I figured we’d go down and have a little. Poor Ms. Hempstead. She’d prepared food thinking she had two grown men to feed.
I’d tried to have a conversation with Nick a few times, but he didn’t engage. Before I could try again, I needed to think it through this time. My stupid, off-the-cuff admission I was keeping secrets from him wasn’t nearly as brilliant as I thought.
No. It was the smart move. The problem had been with the execution. Even after Nick agreed he wouldn’t run off, I couldn’t relax. He noticed I was still off and reacted by drinking way too much. Talk about a slow-motion train wreck.
Under other circumstances, if Nick had gotten drunk, I would’ve kissed him back, ripped off his clothes, and spent most of the night in sweaty sex.
Unfortunately, Uriel called and it messed with my head. Nick got drunk because he was upset with me. In hindsight, I should have gone with the moment. Make up sex might have smoothed things over, and we’d have gone back to good.
