She shook her head slowly. “No, Asher. I’ve wanted this so badly, so much more than you could even imagine. The thought of exiting stage right brings me so much peace. Real peace. Peace I have never felt in all my life. It is all I’ve needed, and I finally have that option.”
“I just don’t want you to go,” I said, letting out a subtle sob, unable to keep it in any longer.
A tear fell down her face.
“I know. I know.”
An overwhelming feeling took over me. An internal shift.
My heart pounded violently. My mind went goggly while my vision blurred. My fingertips went numb from the cold.
“I have to leave,” I said in a rush.
“Where are you going? What about the walk?” she asked, almost desperate for me to change my mind.
I shook my head, feeling the urgent panic settling into my bones.
“I need some space. I need some air. I’ll be back. I just—I need to go.”
Before she could beg me to stay, not that she actually would, I took off, closing the door behind me. I rushed down the stairstoward the exit. My heart was erratic, thumping in my chest with a veracity that felt uncomfortable.
I was going to pass out.
At the bottom of the stairwell, I fumbled for my phone and called Duke. He would know where to find me, what to do if anything happened.
A chair was positioned next to the door. I urged my body to slump into the seat immediately. I barely could remember positioning myself in it.
“Duke,” I wheezed.
“You still at Lennon’s?” he asked.
I nodded, as if he could hear it through the phone. “I think…I need…to go…” My vision fading, filled with white noise. The ringing in my ear distracted me from finishing my sentence.
“I can’t live without her…” I managed.
“I’m on my way, sir.”
Then everything went dark.
Lennon
It had been days since I’d last seen him. What the fuck was happening? I had texted him with no response. I had waited at home with no knock on my door.
It was eerie not hearing from him. Asher was always around. Always patient with me. Always understanding of my fucked-up ways. I was a wrecking ball, and he had so eloquently danced between my swings.
What changed?
Fury bottled inside of me. When I struggled to understand what was going on, my natural response was anger. It took everything in me not to lash out through a string of unhinged text messages.
The silence felt like too long. Like, exceptionally too long. So long that I needed to do something.
I stopped pacing the hallway, shoved my feet into my sneakers, and strode toward the door with intention. I was about to track down this motherfucker and demand he reconsider.
The door swung open before I could grab the handle. On the other side stood a drowned rat.
Asher.
He was sopping wet, water dripping from his chin, his shirt clinging to him. Was it raining outside?
