“You don’t know that.” Cass could hear how desperate he sounded and couldn’t stop. “You’re not a doctor. Maybe Berserkers just don’t understand Elysian medicine, or maybe you’re confused about what suppressants look like, or—”
“I spent years working for Gensyn.” Riot’s voice cut through his spiraling. “I know exactly what corporate control drugs look like. I’ve seen them used on hundreds of Omegas. Those pills in your hand are designed to keep cycles suppressed until someone else decides you’re ready.”
Until someone else decides.
The words didn’t make sense. Cass was the one preparing for partnership. Cass was the one working toward spiritual readiness. Nobody else was deciding anything for him. He wanted to continue on his path to enlightenment. He wanted to be with Honey.
Right?
His head hurt too much to think about it.
“That’s not—Elysian doesn’t do that to people like that. We form sacred partnerships based on spiritual compatibility and—”
“And what happens after the partnership is formed?” Riot asked. “After the bonding ceremony? Do they explain what comes next, or is that a separate program?”
Cass opened his mouth to argue, then stopped.
Connection counseling. That’s what they called it. It was a separate program that bonded pairs enrolled in together. He’d never thought to question why it was separate. It justwas. But now Riot was looking at him like the answer should be obvious, and Cass’s head was swimming, and he couldn’t remember what he’d been about to say.
“I don’t...” He couldn’t finish the sentence. Couldn’t think clearly. The heat was getting worse, coming in waves now, and his body felt like it belonged to someone else—doing things without his permission, responding to stimuli he couldn’t control.
This is what happens when you stray too far from harmony, a voice in his head whispered. It sounded like Brother Matthias.Your body rebels against your spirit. This is why you need guidance. This is why you can’t trust yourself.
“What’s actually happening to me?” The question came out broken, scared. “What does heat even—I don’t understand what’s happening.”
Riot moved closer, his scent made his head clearer and fuzzier at the same time, like it was helping and hurting.
“Your body is trying to do what it was designed to do,” Riot said, his voice slightly softer. “What those pills have been preventing. It’s going to be uncomfortable, but it won’t kill you.”
“But I can’t go into heat without Honey.” Tears slid down his fevered cheeks. “If I can respond like this without her, what does that mean? We’ve been trying for years to develop properspiritual alignment, and I never—she’s wonderful and brilliant and everything I should want, but I never felt—”
He couldn’t finish the sentence. It was too shameful. All those nights lying awake wondering what was wrong with him. All those meditation sessions trying so hard to feel what he was supposed to feel. He wondered why he was so broken, so unable to do things other people his age seemed to be able to do, like focus and sit still and learn things without having special attention. No other twenty-four year olds in his community still needed spiritual guides…just him.
“Maybe she’s not meant to be your partner,” Riot said quietly.
“But we’re destined. The compatibility scores said—”
“The compatibility scores lied. Just like the pills. Just like everything else Elysian told you.” Riot exhaled slowly, controlled, like he was measuring each breath. “You’ve been raised in a corporate cult, princess. Everything you believe is built on lies designed to control you.”
Cass’s vision blurred with tears. Riot was saying things that contradicted everything Brother Matthias had taught him. They couldn’t both be right.
“I don’t like this, Riot,” he choked out. “Everything feels wrong and people are treating me differently and you’re saying my whole life is a lie and I can’t think—”
He was sobbing now, overwhelmed, his body shaking with the force of it, rattling his aching heart in his chest. He knew his mission to this place was going to be hard, that he was more sensitive than he was supposed to be, but he didn’t think it was going to be like this. This was too much. It was all too much.
Riot moved.
Later, Cass wouldn’t be able to say exactly how it happened. One moment Riot was standing several feet away, the next his hand was buried in Cass’s hair, fingers tangling in the golden strands, gripping firmly and pulling hard.
Cass gasped.
The tug on his scalp sent electricity cascading down his spine—not pain, or not just pain, but it was bright and sharp in a way that made his whole body light up. His tears stopped from the sheer shock of his head snapping back and he found himself tilted back, staring up at Riot, close enough to watch the gold swallowing the green in those eyes.
“What—” Cass breathed, but he didn’t finish his statement because he felt himselftwitch.
It felt good.
The realization crashed through him. Riot’s hand in his hair, pulling hard enough to sting…heavens, it felt good. Better than good. It felt like relief, like the first cool water after days of thirst, like a need he hadn’t known existed being finally, finally met.
