“Purrfect, Ghostie,” she chirps, and hangs up.
I toss my phone on the desk and let out a long breath. Mama ripped into me earlier today. She’s pissed that I’m going after Adora. Doesn’t like it. Wants me to leave her alone. I had to spend an hour reassuring her that I’m not planning anything sinister, that there’s no need for her to slap sense into me. She only calmed down after I repeated over and over again that I’ll keep going to that fucking therapist. Keep working through the broken pieces of me.
The rest of the day was shit too. Because there were no pranks. Not one fucking prank. And I know Adora doesn’t have any planned. Not for tonight, not for tomorrow. Not for any of the next few days. I don’t like that. I’m missing something, and I don’t know what it is.
Fuck. How can I make her believe I love her? That it’s not a lie? What the fuck can I say that I haven’t already said? I can barely get those daily notes out of me. There’s no romantic bone in my entire body. I can describe a thousand bloody, painful ways to die, but fuck me if I can spit out a single feeling in a shitty, poetic way.
I can’t avoid it. I’ll have to ask Bones for help.
I groan in frustration, crack my neck, pick up my phone again. Check that Viv sent the coordinates. Then I get up and leave the office in search of Fang. He’s somewhere around here. Half the club’s at the clubhouse tonight.
I find him on the back porch, shooting the shit with some of the brothers.
“So, if Superman wanted to hook up with you, would you accept?” I hear Five-Star ask, and the question’s so ridiculous, it stops me in my tracks.
“Nah.” Mindfuck waves a hand, dismissive. “That guy’s dick would kill any human. That’s just science. I still don’t understand how Lois Lane survived him. It’s not realistic. It all comes down to energy transfer. One uncontrolled reflex, one fraction of a second too fast, and —bam!— you’re done for.”
He raises his brows, eyes suddenly bright. “Now Batman, on the other hand… I love pussy, but Batman is Batman.”
“I think I’d give Superman a chance,” Five-Star says thoughtfully, taking a drag of his beer.
“He’d turn you into a bloodstain on the sheets,” Mindfuck replies, deadpan.
“Oh!” Five-Star exclaims. “Sex when a woman’s on her period — yay or nay?”
“Definitely yay,” Hellbat cuts in, a stupid grin on his face. “My sword’s not afraid of getting bloody. The sheets end up looking like a murder scene, but damn, it’s so worth it.”
“Naki will shoot your ass again, idiot,” Mindfuck chuckles. “You’re giving away family secrets.”
“He’s not the only idiot here,” I grunt, finally moving again and interrupting this whole weird conversation. “Fang.” I drop into the seat in front of him. “Sending you a location. Viv and Myth need backup with the snakes. Get some cages — or whatever the fuck you need — and bring them here.”
He straightens, frowning. “Bring who? Viv and Myth? Why would they need cages? Don’t they have their bikes?”
Damn it. He can be so fucking dumb sometimes.
“Cages forsnakes, fucker,” I snap. “There are snakes there. I need you to bring them here.”
His face lights up instantly. “Oh, hell yeah,” he says, suddenly excited. “I’ve been wanting more reptiles. Momo’s been feeling lonely.”
“Ah, fuck,” Joker groans from beside him. “The dogs and Daisy are cute and Momo’s okay, Fang, but don’t ask me to snake-sit when you have to go on a run.”
“Shut up, asshole,” Fang fires back. “What else are you gonna do? Follow Layla and Sketch around? Aren’t you tired of that already?”
“Ha-ha. Very funny, dickhead,” Joker growls. “But I mean it. Your lizard — or whatever Momo is — is fine. Dogs are fine. The cow is also fine. But I draw the line at snakes.”
“I need the snakes for a future project, Fang,” I cut in, ending their ridiculous back-and-forth.
Fang’s expression hardens. “That better not mean you’re planning to hurt them. I get that Myth had to shoot one — those shitheads threw it at Adora, no other choice — but I’m not bringing those snakes here just for you to kill them. I won’t be part of it. I won’t betray my vet oath.”
I roll my eyes. This fucker. I’ve seen him burn three men alive in one night with a smile on his face. Butsnakes? That’s the hill he’s willing to die on?
“First of all, asshole,” I say, my voice scathing but steady, “you wouldn’t be betraying any oath. You never finished vet school. You dropped out.” I take a breath. “Second, it’s not the snakes I plan to harm. And you’ll be supervising the whole thing.” I pause. “I’ll also need some rats later. Very, very hungry ones. Keep that in mind.”
“Will the rats be hurt?” he asks, suspicious.
I give him an incredulous look. “They might end up as food for the snakes. That okay with you, Dr. Doolittle?”
He twists his lips, thinking. “I guess that’s okay. No one can stand in the way of Mother Nature,” he shrugs, then stands. “Send me the coordinates.” He walks off without another word.
