Which made me wonder if that’s why when we left New York, the guys were so adamant on coming to Minnesota. Thief River Falls is about five hours from Minneapolis but having the coordinates had to mean something to them. Why else would they have them?
It did make the fact that I ended up at a shelter in that very city seem even more divine or extremely coincidental, but it didn’t answer any questions.
Whywould they have those coordinates? Who is it that had some connection to one of the Twin Cities? To my knowledge, none of them were originally from here or anywhere close, and they didn’t have family to speak of. What made this area so special?
I started to wonder if whatever the draw or connection to a relatively normal and uneventful city—compared to New York, of course—is what ended up getting them killed.
It seemed unlikely, but I kept digging.
There wasn’t anything particularly nefarious or intriguing on the side of Minneapolis where I was living, nothing glaring anyway and that’s probably why the shelter is there, so I branched out and that’s when I started finding things. Nothing major, I didn’t have someahamoment, but I was able to start piecing together the edges of the puzzle as I stumbled across the darker side of the Midwest.
Which is how I chose my starting point.
The location I should have been in weeks ago, and the guilt of allowing so much time to go by before I got there and started tracking down answers has been consuming, to say the least.
I can’t waste anymore time, I’ve done enough of that, and I need to get moving on my intel.
I roll my eyes as I push my hair back then tousle it, snorting at myself as the white blonde and teal pieces fall to my shoulders where my hair stops.
Intel.
Research.
Whatever you want to call it.
The solid lead I’ve been sitting on while falling in love with my omega, getting kidnapped and tortured, then rescued by my scent match who is a blast from my sordid past.
Too many distractions and not enough action, and I’m struggling with it.
I think the realization that Rune is my scent match and the overwhelming drive to climb him like a tree is what did it. It snapped me back to reality and made me remember why I left the shelter in the first place. Not that I necessarilyforgot, Niko has been helping me piece things together since he crashed my roadtrip, and despite how the relationship developed between us, he’s kept me focused on my end goal.
But two mates? True mates, a soul bond and scent match showing up while I’m trying to avenge my fallen pack is starting to really scareme. More than just being attracted to my omega.
It scares me because it’s another way fate is fucking with me, a new way that my future is going to change, and while my instincts are telling me to accept that and be with both of them, I don’t feel worthy of either of the men tagging along with me.
I don’t feel like I should have a second chance at happiness when my pack barely had a first. I shouldn’t be given the opportunity to fall in love and create bonds, to build a family when I lost my alphas and our baby.
Those thoughts are why I’ve been withdrawing, I can’t help that, and they’re why I’ve made some drastic changes the last few days, including how I look.
All so I can finally start avenging those three men the way I promised.
But I feel like I’m running out of time.
Granted, the only time constraints I have are the ones I put on myself but those are enough for me to feel like I’m failing and I won’t ever do what I set out to.
Two years and five weeks is way too long to let such a horrible tragedy go unresolved.
So, the first time over the last week that I woke up and could tolerate the pain long enough to stay awake, unmedicated, and feel mostly clear headed was when I told Rune and Niko what needed to happen.
Then I made a list.
Our alpha bought the hair dye and tattoo gun, got everything we needed for our makeovers including the clothes and masks I requested, and Niko got to work on helping me really become Sparrow Manning.
Even while his feelings were hurt.
My plan is finally in play but I’m ruining one of the best things that’s happened to me in the process because Ican’t processjack shit.
If I’m too focused on my guilt and getting the answers, and ultimately the justice, my pack deserves, I’m going to lose Niko and I won’t ever have a chance to see what could happen with Rune. But if I explore my feelings and let them become the focus, no matter how long, I won’t do anything I intended to over two years ago. Giving in and letting myself get wrapped up in my alpha and omega, letting the two of them completely consume me? I’m convinced it’s going to mean abandoning my mission and erasing my pack.
