Dani snugged the covers up around his shoulders, even when it denied her one of her favorite views—his glorious chest. “I’m sure you will be, too.” She then did the one thing she probably shouldn’t have—she leaned forward and placed a single, tender kiss on his temple. Tears misted her eyes the instant she did it. She couldn’t deny what was in her heart now. She loved Cole just as much as she’d ever loved him. Possibly more. She’d spent every day of the last six years caring for the most beautiful extension of him—his two sons. It was a perpetual reminder of how much good there was in him, despite the things he’d done to hurt her.
But that realization also sent the guilt crushing down. If Cole had done the unimaginable when he’d ended their relationship, Dani had done something far worse. She’d kept his own children from him. She’d had every good reason in the world when they were thousands of miles away from each other, but now that they were in the same place again, she couldn’t help but feel sick about it. Even when she’d given him a second chance and sent him that letter right before the boys were born. No, he hadn’t replied, but she also hadn’t told him what wasreallygoing on.
Cole’s breaths grew more even, and Dani got up to change her clothes and wash her face. Looking into the bathroom mirror, she had to wonder what was going to become of her. Was Cole just enjoying their undeniable physical attraction? Or was he serious about her? Did he want a second chance? She didn’t want to admit to herself just how badly she wanted it. Right now, it felt like she might not be able to live through it if the answer was no. But she’d told herself that she would never again put that much stock in Cole, and here she was, pinning a bunch of hope on what he wanted. What about what she wanted? Didn’t that count just as much?
What do you want?Dani could hear the question crystal clear in her head, but the answer wasn’t quite so quick to come. It was complicated. The minute she’d become a mother, the boys became an inextricable part of this equation. What they wanted and needed was equally important, possibly more so. She wanted stability for them. She wanted a good life where they could count on everything and everyone around them. She wanted green grass, clean air and laughter in the backyard, giggles at the dinner table, and bedtime stories that went on too long.Just one more, Mommy.And after the boys gave in to sleep each night, she wanted someone to talk it all over with. She wanted a partner, someone to share all this good she’d managed to build. She wanted everything she’d thought was possible before Cole ended it with her.
She flipped off the bathroom light and leaned against the door frame, watching Cole sleep in the soft glow of the lamp on her side of the bed. What in the world had happened on that day nearly six years ago? What had gone through that head of his that made him want to throw away what they had? Her gut was telling her that he’d left out some key piece of information. He was hiding something from her. If they had any chance of moving forward, he was going to have to come clean. Yes, she had her own secrets to confess, but he’d set them on this path. And there was no going back.
She walked around to the far side of the room and turned off the light, climbing into bed. She didn’t want to disturb his sleep, but she wanted to be close to him. She couldn’t help it. She scooted closer, wrapping her hand around his arm and stretching out beside him. Closing her eyes, she drew in his smell—warm cedar and soap. She knew she had to get some sleep. She and Cole had a lot to talk about in the morning. She couldn’t endure another day of not knowing what he wanted from her. And that was going to involve her own confession, one that had been waiting too long.
Ten
Cole hadn’t slept. He’d only slipped in and out of consciousness. During the moments when he came to, the pain reminded him to keep his eyes closed and his body still and to try to claim real slumber. It was his only escape from the agony and the worry.
And now that the Texas sun was peeking through his eyelids, he was going to have to face reality. His headache had not improved—it had only settled in. The doctors had warned him, told him to watch out for events like this. They’d told him he needed to come in right away when it happened. He’d already ignored those orders by coming to Dani’s last night. But the truth was that he was scared. He’d seen a glimmer of what his future could hold and just like that, his body was trying to take it away. There was some part of him that had hoped the headache would simply go away. Unfortunately, it hadn’t. He couldn’t ignore what he needed to do anymore.
“Morning.” Dani’s sweet voice was a brief respite from the chaos in his head. “How are you doing?”
He still hadn’t fully committed to opening his eyes, so he rolled to his side to put the window behind him. Light was not his friend right now. He went slowly, and he couldn’t have had a lovelier vision to wake up to—Dani with her hair up in a high ponytail, wearing light pink pajamas and offering him a cup of coffee. Still, it took more effort to keep his eyes open than could ever be considered normal.
“I gotta be honest. I’m feeling pretty rough.”
She caressed his arm. “Headache’s no better?”
“No.”
“Okay. Well, I looked up the number for Dr. Lee’s office and called them. They said they want to see you as soon as we can get there.”
Panic coursed through Cole’s body. What if the doctor’s office slipped and told her about his condition? “You called Dr. Lee? What did he say?”
“I only spoke to the nurse. She just said you should come in. That was all. He’s doing rounds at the hospital this morning and will see you as soon as we get there.”
He sighed and resigned himself to the fact that even though it was the last thing he wanted to do today, he was going to have to see the doctor. “I guess I should get dressed.”
“You want to wear a suit to the doctor’s office? I could call one of your brothers and ask them to bring you some different clothes.”
“I have a pair of jeans and a T-shirt in a duffel in the truck.”
“Oh, right. A rancher never knows when he’s going to get dirty.”
He forced a smile. “Exactly.”
“I’ll get it. You stay put.”
Dani was back a few minutes later with his things, and Cole did his best to soldier through the most mundane of tasks—going to the bathroom, putting on clean clothes.
“Is it okay if we take my car? I’ll leave the minivan for Elena and the boys.” she asked. “No offense, but I hate driving your truck.”
As if he was in any position to argue with her. “Yeah. No problem.” He tried to look on the bright side. With his car there, he’d have an excuse to come back to Dani’s house as soon as the doctor gave him some real painkillers and sent him on his way. Then they could have their talk.
Dani took charge when they arrived at Royal Memorial, getting them right into a triage room. The nurse took his vitals and got him settled on the exam table, but the minute they were left waiting, the bad memories started to come back, and that made his head pound even worse. The fluorescent lights overhead were nightmarishly bright, and that hospital smell was everywhere. Cole couldn’t escape it.
“You doing okay?” Dani asked.
It took a ridiculous amount of effort to nod. “Yep.” He hadn’t realized until then that she was holding his hand. Had it become that comfortable? Or was he that out of tune with what was going on around him right now? Too stuck in his own body? That had been a huge symptom of the last six years—feeling trapped. How else was a man to feel when he was saddled with a condition from which he could never escape?
The telltale sound of the exam room curtain sliding on its rails came. “I spoke to Dr. Lee,” a voice said. “He wants to go ahead and do an MRI first, and then he’ll see you after that.”
