Cole broke out into a cold sweat. “I just need some painkillers.” He didn’t want to know if this was all because the tumor had grown. He didn’t want to know if this was the beginning of the end. Plus, he hadn’t had a chance to talk to Dani yet and he couldn’t see straight right now, let alone think straight.
“Isn’t that a little excessive?” Dani asked. “He just has a migraine.”
“Given his history, Dr. Lee felt it was not only the most logical step, it was the only course of action right now.”
“His history?” Dani’s voice was nothing if not incredulous. She was mystified by what was going on. If only she knew. “What history? His accident? Is there something I don’t know?”
“I’m sorry, but are you family?” The nurse had taken a tone that he knew Dani would hate.
Cole’s mind raced. He would have done anything to put this conversation on pause, but his thoughts weren’t merely jumbled, they were fighting each other. He wanted Dani there, but he wanted to be able to break this news to her the right way. Not in the hospital. Not when he was in so much pain. “She’s my girlfriend.” The words just came out. They were the only thing that made sense. Cole forced his eyes open, only to see a truly surprised Dani standing next to him.
“I’m sorry, but I can only discuss the patient’s history with a spouse or next of kin. Mr. Sullivan, I’m going to check in with the radiologist to find out how long before we can get you in.”
As soon as the nurse left, Dani whipped around and looked Cole square in the eye. “What does she mean when she says your history?”
Cole dug as deep as he ever had for strength. He needed the presence of mind to say this clearly. He needed the stamina to fight through the pain and look Dani in the eye. He needed the courage to tell her the most difficult and damning detail of his life.
“When the doctors did the MRI the day after my accident, they discovered a glioma. It’s a small tumor in a part of my brain they can’t reach. It’s inoperable. It’s not going away. It might get bigger. It could very well be the thing that kills me.”
“Oh my God.” Dani clamped her hand over her mouth. Her eyes were hurt. She was starting to cry. Was she devastated to hear the news? Or was it because he’d kept it from her all this time?
“That’s my secret, Dani. I never told you because I wanted you to live a long life with someone who could be there for the whole thing.” Cole could hear his own voice starting to fall apart.
“Cole. No,” Dani said.
The nurse returned, and Cole could see the gurney coming for him. “Mr. Sullivan, we need to get you in right now. Dr. Lee wants these results as soon as possible.”
The nurse helped him up from the exam table and onto the gurney. He could hardly look at Dani, fearing her reaction. She’d said so little. Too little. He felt even more nauseous now than he had when he’d first gotten this headache. Or the day he’d gotten the worst news.
The orderly began pushing Cole out of the room.
“No. Wait. Stop,” Dani said. Her voice was nothing but desperation. Cole had no idea if it was because she was worried or if it was because she was trying to understand his betrayal.
The nurse grasped both of her arms. “Ma’am. You need to stay here. He needs to go in for that test right away.”
The orderly kept going, down the hall, away from Dani. It was such a metaphor for everything that had happened between them, and the way things had gone so haywire. Just when he was ready to tell her his secret, the headache stopped him in his tracks. Just when he was ready to ask her if they had a future together, this thing in his head was stepping in and saying,Not so fast, buddy.
They wheeled Cole into the MRI room, where the hum of the machine was deafening and everything around him was cold and white and sterile. This was the room where he got the worst news of his life. This where he’d started to lose everything.
Was that going to happen all over again? Would Dani ever forgive him for the things he hadn’t said? Or was this MRI about to tell him that none of it mattered, anyway?
* * *
Dani stood in Cole’s room, frozen.
A tumor.Cole has a tumor.She couldn’t believe this was happening. Just when she’d learned to trust him again, the truth threw her for far more than a loop. She couldn’t even be mad at him right now. All she could do was worry. What were the doctors going to say? And would she and Cole ever be able to move beyond whatever that news was?
Dani’s phone rang and it rattled her back to the here-and-now. She dug in her bag, fumbling past her wallet, keys, lipstick, and a million other things. When she finally found her phone, Elena’s name was on the caller ID.
“Hello,” Dani said.
“Oh, thank God you answered. I’m super sick, Dani. It just hit me like a ton of bricks.”
Dani’s first instinct was to start walking to her car. She could not believe this day. She didn’t think it was possible for her to worry any more than she already was. “What’s wrong?”
“I think I’ve come down with a stomach virus or maybe food poisoning. I can’t keep any food down. Or anything at all, actually. I can’t watch the boys the way they need to be watched. I’m running to the bathroom every ten minutes. And I don’t want them to catch this if it’s contagious.”
“I’m on my way. I’ll get there as fast as I can. Can I pick you anything up on my way home?”
