Page 57 of It's a Widow Thing

“Do you remember when we talked about how grief isn’t something you get through or get over? That it will always be there?” Orla asked.

“Yes. You described it like the knot in a tree. It’s there, but the tree still grows. And eventually the knot is a smaller part of the whole, but it never goes away. It’s permanent.”

Orla nodded intently, and leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees and tenting her hands like she was praying. “Everything that grows around the knot is your life, Sabrina. And it’s full of smooth patches and rough. It’s beautiful and ever-changing and it’s going to keep going as long as you’re here. There’s more than enough room for love in your life. In fact, love can grow all around that knot and protect it. It might sound counterintuitive, but your love for Michael can honor the chapter of your life that was Andrew. It can protect it and keep it safe, simply by giving you moments of joy and happiness.”

Sabrina took a moment to mull over the wisdom Orla had chosen to impart. It was a lot to think about. A lot to ponder. It made her think about time and love and how they were so hopelessly intertwined. There was no separating them. No one knew how much time they had to love. Time was an important currency, but you couldn’t save it or make more of it. But love? That was boundless. There was always more to give. More to let in. The realization filled her with a new sense of urgency. It made her ready to leap. She couldn’t make more time, but she could give more love.

“It’s not a betrayal, honey. I promise,” Orla added.

Sabrina pulled a tissue out of her bag. She was a blubbering mess, but she felt free of so many expectations. She knew the answer that was nestled deep in her heart, and apparently a good cry with these women she adored had been the only way to appreciate how real it was. She looked up and saw the love and empathy in the eyes of these women who had become her support system. No, she didn’t have a mom, but it didn’t matter. She had Kendra, Orla, Leticia, Daisy, and Aurora. That was all she really needed.

“So, what are you going to do?” Daisy asked.

“I have to tell him the truth,” Sabrina said. “As soon as possible.”

Kendra cocked an eyebrow. “Which is?”

“That I love him.” The words sailed past Sabrina’s lips. “And we’ll have to figure out what comes after that.”

CHAPTERTWENTY-TWO

So far,the best part of staying at Brian’s house was spending time with Zoe. “Will you read me another story?” she pleaded, even though everything in her voice said that she was adorably sleepy.

“I’m sorry, honey. Your mom gave me very strict orders.” He pulled up the covers and leaned down to kiss her forehead. “Uncle Michael needs to pace himself.”

“Because you had a heart attack?”

“Who told you that?”

“Mommy. But only because I asked a million questions.”

Michael laughed. Zoe did have a way of wearing down adults. “That’s part of why I’m staying here with you this week. So I can get better.”

“Will you drive me to school tomorrow?” she asked.

“I’m not supposed to, but it’s okay if I’m a passenger.” He hated being like this, needing to be taken care of. He supposed it was simply part of life. “And we can have breakfast together, too, if you want.”

“Okay. Good.” Zoe snuggled up with the stuffed rabbit she had tucked under her arm. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, sweetheart.” Michael closed Zoe’s door and padded down the hall and into the family room. Brian was parked in front of the TV, watching the NBA. Michael joined him on the couch. Alyshia was at her book club. “Zoe’s asleep.”

“Glad to know you can carry your weight around here.”

Michael slapped Brian’s arm with the back of his hand. “Hey. I’m the patient. You’re supposed to be nice to me.”

“I’m being nice by treating you like I always do.” Brian glanced at him. “Still feeling okay?”

“Honestly, I feel better than I’ve felt in years. I’m a little sore at the incision site. But that’s pretty much it.”

“That’s great news. But don’t think that means you get to go home early. Mom was very specific about following doctor’s orders.”

“Yeah. Yeah. I know.” Michael picked up his phone and looked at it. There was no call or text from Sabrina, which was a disappointment.

“You aren’t sneakily trying to work, are you?”

Michael shook his head. “Absolutely not. I didn’t even check my email today.”

“Wow. My brother the wolf really is taking this seriously.”