I’m not going to be the one he doesn’t really want, the one he’s putting up with for this arrangement.
A means to an end.
The woman, Stefani, gazes directly at me.
Is that a look oftriumphin her eyes?
OH ABSOLUTELY FUCKNG NOT.
I hit reverse and hightail it out of there, feeling an array of emotions I refuse to name further. Escape is the only goal.
Within sixty seconds,my phone is ringing.
Rawley.
Not ready to deal with him, especially while on the road home, I don’t pick up.
He doesn’t give up though. After I don’t answer, he takes to text, which I read at the next light.
RAWLEY: I know that looked bad, but it wasn’t anything, I swear. She’s in town with her family and came by for a few minutes.
I sit with his explanation while I make the drive back to Sarah’s.
I’m shaken. Really shaken.
Be logical. You’re spiraling like you’re back in that high school hallway. Be logical.
I try to rein in my emotions. What he’s describing could be a perfectly reasonable explanation.Rawley’s not given you reason to doubt him once yet.
He’s not a liar. He’snota liar.
But then…even if that’s true…
Why did that hurt so much?
Why the heck was I so affected?
This is supposed to be FAKE.
The answer hits me.This may have started out as fake, but you’ve caught feelings, Avery Marie Parker.
Shit.No, no, no.Panic pools in my gut.
But denying it does no good. Because while I’m being logical and calling myself out on things…
The tug in my chest when I think of Rawley lately? Hoping we can extend this arrangement more than six weeks? Wanting to spend time with him outside of public appearances? Texting all the time when we’re not together?
Ilikehim. For real.
With my reaction, with my emotions, I can’t deny what’s been building for weeks.
I like him, as more than a friend, as more than a “fake” boyfriend.
An athlete. Afamous, sexyathlete.
The number one red line I vowed not to cross.
Damn it.
