“I do think we should consider what Aiden said though, at this point.”
Confusion fills his face. “Consider it how?”
I grip my legs to let out some of the tension I’m feeling.Get this over with, Avery.
“There’s no long term here. With you headed off to training camp, and me focused on the second half of the season, it’s the perfect time for things to taper off.”
He doesn’t speak at first, but then he tests two of my words, his slight Alabama drawl drawing them out.
“Taper off?”
I keep going. I’m all in now, and there’s no turning back. “We’ve had fun, we’ve gotten what we wanted out of this for our careers, and I mean this truly, I’d like to stay friends. You’re a great person.”
His face crumbles. “Friends.”
“Yeah.” He looks pained, but I push on. It’ll be better to have clarity, right?
And then the brutal truth comes out of my mouth. “We knew this wasn’t going to go anywhere. It always had an end date, like you said after Aiden called me that day.”
He doesn’t answer for a while. Looking pale, his eyes flat.
“That’s what you want?” he finally asks.
“Yes.” It’s not, but at the same time, it is.
“To stayfriends.”
“Yes, without benefits.” I try to make it sound like a joke, but I’m not sure I succeed.
His laugh in return is dark, so unlike him. “I got it.”
It definitely came off wrong then. “Sorry.”
He shakes his head.
Now that the hard part is done, I don’t want him to take it personally. I’m not sure how to convey that, though. “It’s not you, Rawley. You’re an awesome guy.”
“Right,” his tone downbeat, and I just—I just need to end this.
“I can tell Taylor, have her work on an exit plan?” I hate that phrase as soon as I say it. It sounds so transactional.
“Do what you need to do.”
And then he scoops up his keys, leaving without another word.
38
RAWLEY
Do what you need to do,I said.
In the meantime, my heart feels like it’s in my throat.
I clench my hands around the steering wheel as I drive home.
Fuck. Fuck.
I can’t believe I actually let this happen.
