Plus, not only are we looking solid for the playoffs, but we’re fighting for the best regular season record overall. Lots of winning, hopefully on the way to the big one.
The Surge was on the brink of winning the championship last year, but got beaten handily in the finals. So most of my teammates have experienced the hard reality of losing when being so near to earning the trophy.
My situation is the opposite coming from UConn: I have no ability to process that losing is apossibility. I won’t even let myself go there mentally.
Our shared determination is creating incredible chemistry on the court. I’ve now slotted in fluidly, and we know our roles, know what the others will do, without needing a lot of words when we’re out there.
There’s a beauty to being a unit of five that connects as one. Speed, movement, and rhythm—all aligned. And we have a lot of it.
Also helpful, Katrina’s been solid at not throwing more shade my way—as far as I know.
Her contract is up this year, and Sarah’s mentioned she thinks that’s why Katrina has been chill.
“She’s not going to want to be seen as a problem player. And she could win a championship this year, so why mess that up.”
In theory, all should be golden…
Except, there’s this virtual dance with Rawley milling around in the ether, with the social media comments and sporadic texts since I found Stefani at his house.
Granted, I started the text conversations both times.
First, on that night after the commercial shoot with Rori, when I couldn’t shake her “green flag” remark.
The other time, after I got the bouquet.
Every day, I’m trying to thread the needle of my fears, and feeling like I made a mistake.
Not knowing what he’s truly feeling or thinking.
Not able to stop missing him.
Not willing to lie to myself about how amazing a person he is.
Not ready to force myself to face the fact that…
I might have messed this up for no reason.
Because I can’t shake thelogicalthought that just because Rawley is an athlete, it doesn’t mean I can’t trust him. Because Idotrust him.
Rationally, that means there’s no reason we can’t be together.
For real.
If he wants that.
Crap.
Our second stop on the road trip is in Seattle, and after a long flight following the previous night’s game in Philadelphia, we have our off day completely free.
Which leaves me stewing in my thoughts. Most pointedly:Do I really want to keep up my rule, if it costs me a chance with Rawley?
I’m dying for someone to talk to. Luckily enough, the best possible person is on this very road trip.
AVERY: Can I come to your room to chat? Need advice.
SARAH: Yeah, I’m good now if you want. Just got dressed.
I pop off my bed and head out to her room just down the hotel hallway.
