Mikecan’tknow.
He would never look at me the same.
Chapter 17
Before
Jason finds me before the game starts.
I see him moving across the grass, and when he catches my eye, he nods toward the hall leading from the locker room. My heart does the thing it always does when Jason wants to see me. Because even now, after almost six months of being with him, my body hasn’t gotten the message that this isn’t always a good thing.
I smile.
He doesn’t smile back.
“We need to talk.” He says once we’re out of sight, grabbing my arm and steering me toward the wall under the bleachers, and I go without arguing, my hopes still up that he wants a good luck kiss.
“Is everything okay?” I ask when he stops. “You only have twenty minutes before—”
“She broke up with me.”
I look at him. “What?”
“Olivia.” His jaw is tight, his eyes shining. “She broke up with me this afternoon.”
I try not to show how I really feel about that, forcing a frown. “Oh, I’m sorry, I—”
“Someone told her.” He steps closer, and I step back at the sound of his voice. “Someone’s been talking.”
“And you think it was me? Jason, I would never—”
“Then how does she know?”
“I don’t know. Maybe she—”
“She knew, Alex.” His voice drops low, and I know that voice. I know what comes after it.“She said I seemed distracted.”
“That doesn’t meanshe knows,” I say, because I haven’t told a single person. I’ve been so careful. “I swear, I haven’t said anything to anyone.”
“You looked at me in the hallway yesterday.”
I stare at him. “What?”
“In front of everyone.” His eyes are glassy, but they’re also cold, the way they get right before he—
“You looked at me like—”
“Jason, I didn’t—”
“You’re so stupid sometimes.” He says the words quietly, and that’s almost worse than if he’d shouted it. “You don’t think about anything, do you? You don’t think about whatthiscosts me.”
My throat tightens, because I do. I think about it all the time. I think about it every single day. What being with me costs him, what he’s risking for me, what it means that he chose me anyway.
I reach for him, but he pushes me back hard, his strong hands flat against my chest. I hit the wall behind me hard enough that it knocks the air out of me.
“Jason, please,” I say, clutching my chest, tears threatening my eyes.
“She was my girlfriend. Myactualgirlfriend.” His voice cracks, and something in me does along with him.
