Laney:I’m free in twenty minutes. What you need, girl?
Amber:Heading to the Lion. I’m getting a strong-ass coffee.
Laney:Be there soon.
Marissa:Stuck in class for another two hours but I’ll text you after.
Gratitudethe size of an elephant filled my lungs at the support of my friends. We all had our own shit, but it felt worse when it was my own family. The feeling would last a couple of days and by the time I’d work it out of my system, she’d call again and the cycle repeated.
Fuck.Why did I give up alcohol again?
I walked faster to the bar, hoping to warm myself up and to distract me from the urge to order three whiskeys and down them. The urge scared me because one wouldn’t be enough andsoon, I’d be in a pity party that would make me feel like shit about myself for a week. I was better than that. Better than her insults.
“Hey, Henderson, it’s been a while. How ya been?” Rocco, the bouncer, grinned at me and I leaned into him for a hug on the patio entrance.
“Hanging in there.”
“That’s all we can do. Have a good night.”
I used to think it was cool I knew the bouncers at all the bars but really, it was because I went out four nights a week. We weren’t friends. Sure, they would help me out if I needed it, but I partied a lot and that was how they knew me.That’s how Jeff sees me.
Woah, okay, brain, settle down.
I removed my large winter hat and ran my fingers through my hair, shaking all thoughts of him out of my head. Another person accusing me of being a piece of shit?Not today.My guards were up. I wasn’t responsible for people’s opinions of me and I needed to remember that. I chose a wooden booth in the back of the bar, not right in the center but a great spot for people watching. Old me would’ve chosen the bar for quicker access—the current me liked the distance.
“Hey, girl, want a coffee?”
“You’re a goddamn angel, Greta.”
She pursed her lips. “I know.”
It made me laugh and a small bit of envy went through me at her confidence. She was so sure of herself, who she was and what she liked that she dominated a room. It also helped because she was one of the most selfless people I knew. “It’s been a while, how you been?”
“Dealing with Aaron and the upcoming draft, graduation and finding a job that could be thousands of miles away from wherehe ends up. So, you know, nothing really.” She shrugged, but her smile didn’t reach her eyes.
“Damn, that’s a lot.”
“It’s what it is. We knew this from day one, so it’s not a surprise. Gotta admit, it’s harder than I thought it would be. I can’t show weakness, or he’ll lose it.”
And I’m worried about petty shit with my mom.My worries paled in comparison and I hoped I gave her an empathetic smile. “I have no doubt you two will make it work. Might be messy, but you’ll get there.”
The dark look left her face and her signature toothy smile came back. “I knew I liked you. Let me grab that drink for you.”
That left me alone at the booth just as Aaron Hill and Jeff Maddow walked in. It was stupid how my pulse sped up at the mere sight of Jeff. His fitted jacket and jeans showcased how strong he was and while I was without a doubt attracted to him, I’d lost a little bit of my crush. He’d already pegged me for someone I was trying not to be and I wasn’t about to try and change his mind. No boy was worth that.
Shit.He looked my way.
I adjusted my hair to cover my face and pulled out my phone to check…the weather or something, but the heavy footsteps forced me to look up. Jeff had a killer smile, one that made me feel like he was laughing at me rather than with me, and I hated the insecurity plaguing me.Is my denim shirt too tight?I reached to my side to make sure it was tucked into my black jeans and sighed when it was still intact. He still hadn’t said anything so I tilted my head. “Hey?”
“Have you always had hair this long?” He gestured to my curly black hair spilling down my chest, past my boobs, and I nodded. “Huh. Never noticed.”
“Not sure why you would.”What else was I supposed to say? This is so awkward. Speak. Say something.“Grabbing a beer with Aaron?”
“Yup. We had a bitch of a hitting session and need a beer to recover.” He stepped closer and looked over his shoulder before a serious expression crossed his face. “I brought up Max to our hitting coach today, to see if he remembered him?—”
“Henderson,” Hilly greeted me. He often did that, just my last name. I nodded to him and he took that as an invitation to sit down in the bench across from me. “Care if we join you?”
“Laney’s joining me soon but sure.”
