Chapter Eleven
Noah holds me to him,stroking my back. I’ve never been comforted like this. It’s addicting. I think I can trust him and that’s what’s important to me. The feeling of being wanted and taken care of lulls me into a relaxed state. Something I haven’t felt in a long time. “I promise I’ll take them down,” he whispers in my ear as he rolls us over until I’m on my back.
“It doesn’t matter anymore. It’s just a scar and a few nightmares. I wanted to come home, to see if… well, to see if my mother might be proud of me for earning my degree.” I am such a fool. Coming home was the stupidest thing I could have done. Yet here I am in the arms of a man that clearly wants me.
When Noah gets out of bed, I look up at him. “Othella, you’re free to go. I’m not going to let your mother or anyone else get to you. While I take care of them, it’s best you go.”
His words are laced with pain. It’s as if it’s physically hurting him to say them. I understand because I don’t like the thought of being away from him. I get out of bed, trying not to be devastated.
“Right,” I whisper and pick up my pants, pulling them on. I just started to feel like I belonged to someone. Of course, he didn’t mean he wanted to keep me. It was something he said in a moment of passion.God, I’m so stupid.Looking away from him and keeping my head down, I try not to make a spectacle. Yet, all I want to do is scream and ask why he doesn’t want me.
“I’m sure you have family to get to for Thanksgiving.” I try to keep it cool. To not show that I wanted him to tell me he’s going to keep me.
I don’t make it a step away from the bed before he whirls me around and pulls me to him. “I’ve hurt you.” He looks upset and I don’t know why. It’s not like I’m the one kicking him to the curb. “What’s going on, Othella?”
For once, I don’t fight him. It hurts too much to play it this cool and disinterested. I look at him and let him see how broken I am inside. How I need someone to choose me. My body begins to tremble, and I give him a sad chuckle. “You…” Shaking my head, I roll my eyes. “Nothing. It’s nothing, Noah.” Steeling myself, I right the walls that I let down and hope I can keep them up before he breaks me in half.
“Nope, not buying it. Tell me what’s wrong, ladybug.” Noah keeps a firm grip on me as he forces me to look straight at him.
I really do like when he calls me ladybug. My brother calls me squirt, but ladybug? It’s such a cute little nickname. A smile creeps up on me without my consent.
“You are setting me free. I mean, it hasn’t even been twenty-four hours since you kidnapped me. I’m a burden and I should remember that.” Shame fills me. Isn’t that what my mother and Clyde have always said?“Nothing but a burden and a whore.”Their words run through me, piercing the armor I’ve always tried to keep firmly in place.
As I stare at Noah, shock crosses his face. “What do you mean, you’re a burden?”
A blush creeps up my neck, and I shift from foot to foot. “Look, you said I was free to go. I’d like to get to the airport before tomorrow so I can beat the traffic back home.”
“Oh, I see,” he says, and then he grins at me like a wolf. “You think because I told you that you were free to get out of here, that I don’t want you. Ladybug, you are so mistaken.” Noah kisses me, roughly pulling me to him so I can’t fight him off.
When he lets me up for air, I stare at him wide eyed. “Yeah, maybe I shouldn’t have said you were free to go. But you are not a burden. I want you safe and if that means you must leave town, that’s alright. I will follow you. As soon as I take out the trash.”
I stare at him as he pushes a hand through my hair.What is happening?Can he really mean what I think he means? “If you don’t want to go, you are always welcome to stay here with me while we fix the wrong that was done to you.”
I’m vulnerable right now. I want to trust what he says, but doubt creeps inside of me. “You can’t possibly mean that.”
“You think I’m lying?” he growls at me, and I shiver. I like when he gets growly and possessive. It turns me on more than I care to admit.
“I don’t know!” I cry out in frustration. “I’m so confused about everything. No one ever wants me and… and you are the first person to ever care. Not even my brother talks about it.”
“I don’t give a damn about everyone and everything else. You aremine, Othella. Understand that and come to terms with being mine forever. I may let you go back to college, but you won’t be far from me. I will be there right alongside you. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
Do I understand? Everything he is saying is so foreign, but it’s everything I have wanted to hear my entire life. “Alright,” I whisper, uncertain as to how to proceed.
“Good, now how about that hot chocolate and cookies?” He changes the subject so fast; I laugh.
My stomach growls and we both look at each other as he rubs me. “I’m pretty sure my body just answered your question.” Noah goes around the bed and picks up the tray of cookies. God, they really do smell fantastic.
“Once we eat these, we’ll shower. I want us to get a lawyer to help with the case we are going to build.”
I chomp away at the cookies as he talks. “I’m pretty sure the statute of limitation is…”
Noah puts a finger against my lips, and I lick it. “It’s not. Let me worry about that.”
Is it wrong of me to enjoy the fact he wants to take care of me? The need to be around someone that truly wants me is insane. I sit here eating and talking with Noah about everything. The wall that I keep around my heart has already begun to crumble. I’m scared to let it fall all the way down, though.
“Everything is going to work out, ladybug. You’ll see.”
Smiling at him, I don’t argue. It’s never worked out before. For some reason, I can’t help but wonder if I’ve gone insane, and I’m dreaming this very vivid dream of someone loving me. God, don’t let me wake up if I am.
