‘What happened?’
‘My father forbade me to be with him.’She lowered her head.‘Diarmud was killed in a raid, trying to prove himself worthy of marrying me.’The grief and raw emotions on her face were real, revealing the feelings she still held within her.
He didn’t know what to say now.He understood her fear that the same thing would happen again.Her father would never approve of a bastard like him.Balor sat up, wondering where he fit in.Did Mairead truly love him, as she’d said?He wanted to believe that her feelings were real.And yet, the thought seemed impossible.
The greater problem was that, even if he did keep her with him, he had no means of supporting her.Aye, she might find it romantic at first—until they lived in poverty.The only way he could provide for her was to hire out his sword.And he simply couldn’t imagine becoming a mercenary and forcing her into a life of hardship.Though she might claim it didn’t matter, one day she would resent him for it.Hunger wasn’t at all romantic—but it was a reality he’d endured.
He didn’t know what to do.His brain warned that it was better to give her up to another nobleman than see her suffer.Wasn’t that was love was?Doing what was right, even if the thought tore him apart inside?
But his heart wanted him to find another way of being with her.
Mairead’s expression was somber as she faced him.‘I cannot change the past,’ she said softly.‘But will you let it take away our future?’
* * *
Mairead could see the turmoil of emotions over his face.She’d bared her soul to him, hoping he could understand the reasons why she’d given herself to Diarmud.She had truly believed the man had been her first love.
But now she understood that those feelings were nothing compared to the way she felt about Balor.And fear roiled within her that he didn’t feel the same way.From the way he was looking at her now, it seemed as if he wanted to end things between them.
‘What do you want from me, Mairead?’he asked.‘Do you want to leave Éireann with me and go to England?Even if it means never seeing your family again?’
Her breath came out in a slow release, and she wasn’t entirely sure what to say.But despite her feelings for him, the thought of leaving her homeland and all her family was unbearable.
‘I don’t know,’ she whispered.But the more she thoughtof it, the more she realized that it was no different from her other suitors.Lord Lowell wanted her to leave Éireann and live with him in England.The only difference was that her family approved of the earl.
And she didn’t love him.
Balor had always listened to her opinions, treating her as an equal.Would Lord Lowell do the same?Somehow, she didn’t think so.
Her emotions balled into an ache of misery inside.Balor’s words weren’t meant to fill her with hope—only to leave her heart bruised.He wasn’t truly asking her to stay with him.He was showing her the hopelessness of their situation.
He was giving up on them before anything could start.
With her heart in her throat, she forced herself to answer.‘I would…hope that we could find a way to be together so I wouldn’t have to choose between you and my family.’
His expression grew shuttered.‘I think we both know you were never meant to choose someone like me,a mhuirnín.’
Was he turning his back on her because she hadn’t been innocent when she had given herself to him?Raw pain welled up in her eyes when Balor reached for his clothing and dressed in the darkness, giving her a glimpse of strong thighs and a ridged stomach.
But when she looked at him in the dim firelight—and caught a glimpse of regret on his face, she saw something else entirely.
Despite all Balor’s efforts to cast himself as a villain, she saw the man he was.The broken boy whose father had beaten him.The strong warrior who had fought to survive.And the man who had utterly stolen her heart.
‘I disagree.’She stood and went to his side.‘I think you are a man worth fighting for.’
‘You’re wrong, Mairead.’He handed her the fallen overdress in a silent command to dress herself.‘I know you’ve heard what they call me.’
She hesitated but nodded.‘The Demon of Éireann.’
He gave a nod.‘And do you know why I deserve that name?’There was a slight threat within his words, and she recognized that he was trying to frighten her and push her away.
She only met his gaze openly.‘Others don’t know who you really are.You’ve never let them see.’
‘Oh, I deserve to be called a demon,a mhuirnín.It’s who I am.Who I’ve always been.’
She finished dressing, but even the extra layer of wool did nothing to allay the coldness threatening to cloak her.
‘Then tell me.Why do they call you that?What did you do?’She turned back to face him, prepared for the worst.
